Friday, March 30, 2012
The Golden Years
I wax rhapsodic on a regular basis about the benefits of growing older. I am the spokesperson for aging, a passionate advocate of old age. Of course I live in our society, hence in spite of my enthusiasm, the process is often daunting. Just like everyone else, looking in the mirror is somewhat of a shock, though in my case I think I look more like "myself" than I did as a young, slender, pretty woman. It's interesting. I've been an old woman all my life, waiting to age.
Recently I'm noticing, in working with some core issues and old stories, how much more grounded I am than I once was. A friend told me recently that I'm more confident than I know. I've been thinking about that. These days, I'm able to take my time, really think about things, before creating a story about what's going on. I'm less willing to believe what others swear is "true," no matter how vociferous they are. I am so much wiser than I was as a younger woman! It kind of blows my mind.
Earlier in life it seemed fitting and proper to struggle, wrestle, engage with my history, my demons. God knows, I clocked many years of battle on those fronts, on the psychotherapeutic couch, in magical workings as a witch, later as a shaman. I've been praying every day for decades - surely that has helped. Young adulthood requires a willingness to participate in hand-to-hand combat, as it were, with the facets of personality and history that shape us. We must engage. At least this was my experience in the Reyaverse of young adulthood.
One of the many wonders of growing older is that it's OK to lay down the weapons, holster the pistols, unclench the fists and let go of everything that didn't quite work, also everything that didn't work at all. Old enough now to realize clearly how finite this beautiful life is, I will cherish what works, what is beautiful and nutritious for body, heart and soul. I no longer need to bicker with what doesn't work. I'm done.
The Sufi acupuncturist tells me that in my 60s, I will be at my shining best. I'm beginning to see what he's talking about.
Life is good and I am who I am - no more, no less. I have my place in the family of things. I am grateful. Shalom.