Saturday, July 31, 2010
Inner and Outer Storm Systems
This has been such a hot and stormy summer, so far at least. There is a way in which all that external storminess has made it possible for me to feel more or less serene internally. Of course I'm always involved in various dramas, of course. But during stormy, super hot July I moved house, dropped deeply into certain relationships, reconnected with great old friends, put other relationships at a loving arm's length, all with a great measure of calm. The weather gods took on the work of stressing out, it seems. Within the weather systems there was much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth, if (that is) you believe that it's possible for the weather to wring and gnash. Me? I had a smile on my face throughout it all. I should also say that it was really too hot to muster the energy for any big emotional outbursts.
Yesterday the weather broke. It was so lovely. It was a day of gentle air, gentle sunshine. The birds chirped, a slight breeze stirred the air. It was lovely. I finished working early so was able to take a nice walk. I did my usual thing, strolling and gazing around, taking pictures. I honestly believed I was dancing in perfect shamanic alignment with all that external gentleness. But then last night, a big ole emotional storm passed through me. I had a total meltdown. Whoa. What was all that about? Was I in some way trying to make up for the suddenly gentle weather? Because honestly there was no reason to get so worked up. Maybe it was just time for an emotional discharge, as my old homeopath used to say. Or something else. Emotions are, after all, not rational.
The weather predicts me, though at times it does not reflect me. Que sera sera. Happy Saturday. Shalom.