Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Barry



I had a big ole post in mind for today, but I can't write it. A dear blog brother, Barry of Toronto, died yesterday. My heart is heavy.

I started reading his blog before he received his diagnosis. He was a fabulous writer, a graceful, loving, open hearted, generous, funny person. As his disease progressed, he kept all of us in the loop not only about what was transpiring in his body, but in his mind and spirit. He didn't have an ounce of cynicism in him. He remained hopeful, positive, and loving to his very last day in this world.

There are people who will insist that the relationships we establish here in the blog world aren't real. The tears I am shedding today are real tears.

Fly high, Barry, fly very high. I know you will. Much love to you.

*I fixed the link. Sorry about that.

30 comments:

Natalie said...

Me too, Reya. It IS real and so wonderful too, that we came into contact with such a beautiful soul. Without Blogger, I would never have known Barry.

Pauline said...

How sad! His posts were marvelous and he was so brave about his illness...

I agree with you - we are real people, with real lives and we write real words.

Mrsupole said...

Hi Reya,

Sorry for your loss, right now I know what you are feeling because my stepfather died last Thursday. I will pray for Barry and his family and friends. It is hard to lose someone no matter who they are or at what age.

But life must go on and with time it will be easier.

Peace be with Barry, I will ring another Bell for him. I too feel sad because I followed him somewhat but not as closely as you but still he was as you say a nice man.

God bless Barry. Ding, Ding, Ding.

Reya Mellicker said...

Thanks Mrsupole.

And yes yes Pauline, we are real people with real lives and real words - and these are real relationships.

NanU said...

just so, Reya. We are all in mourning.

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

I'm saddened also and very shocked. The news prior to this was more positive. Before I went to bed last night I posted about Barry & his explorer adventures with Lindsay (his dog). He was a delight to read. Love to you & yours Barry. Fly high.

Tabor said...

Thanks for your comments on my blog Reya. It is interesting how our shared grief brings us closer even though we are all strangers.

Tom said...

very real--very sorrowful.

Jane said...

I wish we could give each other a real hug, Reya.

Shelley said...

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of very real your friend. We don't have to physically meet people to be touched on a heart and soul level by their lives.

I went to the link you posted for his blog, but it no longer exists. That made me sad, as he sounds like a wonderful person, and could live on and continue to inspire through his writing that he shared during his illness.

Jo Floyd Lucas said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Reya. I never had the chance to read his blog, but he must have been a powerful source of strength and love to have garnered such friendships as I see here.

I tried the link to his blog, but a notice says it "does not exist." How rude. Of course, Barry and his messages will exist forever in those who loved him so dearly.
Peace to all.

willow said...

Yes, it's a sad, sad day. His inspiration and sparkling wit will be sorely missed.

Reya Mellicker said...

Strange perhaps, Tabor, but we are definitely not strangers. Who said it here that some of us know each other better than the people we see every day? I don't doubt it. Thanks for dropping by.

glnroz said...

Thnx for the post. I never read his blog. I hate that. Strange how we do come to know people though their writings, isn't it? I sure enjoy yours... glenn

mouse (aka kimy) said...

my heart too is heavy and sad.

since this winter when the blogging community collectively 'rang a bell for barry', i think of barry whenever i hear a bell.

today the bells will ring again in the hearts of all whose lives he graced.

barry now has his wings

soar on sweet prince and thank you

Kerry said...

Barry's voice was very real, a reminder that behind all of our words lie living breathing individuals. I am going to miss him so much; I feel fortunate to have known him through his writing, such a lovely, vivid person.

The Bug said...

When I read about Barry this morning I just sobbed - definitely a REAL feeling!

Everton Terrace said...

Oh Reya, I am so very sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you and your heavy heart.

Linda Sue said...

If I pull the plug on my computer do the loves and relationships just vanish as though they never were? don't think so- the connection is true, enriching and long lasting- I learn so much in blog land, I share much more also- It is such a giving community. Without it I would not have known Renee or Barry - their amazing writings that forever changed me in a very good way.I would not know the utter delight that your blog brings- so yeah- it's more real than face to face over a quick lunch or a natter over tea.The tendency is to hold back ,I reckon, except in blog land- it's all out there, take it or leave it- but when it clicks it's for keeps!

Reya Mellicker said...

Yep, Linda Sue, those connections exist even when we are offline. I wonder if Barry is pleased or embarrassed by this online memorial (not just on my blog)? My guess is: both.

Reya Mellicker said...

You see? THIS is why I love my fellow homo sapiens. We can be so loving and open hearted.

Nancy said...

Beautifully said, Reya. May his spirit soar.

Amanda said...

reya,

i am so sorry.......my deepest condolences for your loss.

i used your link to check out barry's blog - he seemed like a very creative guy - writing even in the last days of his life. i thought it very appropriate that he chose this quote from t.s. eliiot for his blog page:


“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

Steve Reed said...

I'm sorry to hear about Barry, Reya. I didn't read his blog before today, but it's pretty amazing to go back and be able to do so now. We're leaving a legacy of sorts here on the Internet, aren't we?

Blog ties are powerful, as I know from meeting you and many other blog friends and family!

Reya Mellicker said...

Yes. Blog ties are powerful!

Amanda, thank you. Indeed, we shall know the place for the first time.

Today the Sufi acupuncturist reminded me of that aphorism about how when you're born, you're crying but everyone else is laughing. When you die, you are laughing while everyone else is crying.

Life is hard work, but isn't it glorious? L'chaim y'all!!

Ruth said...

Reya, we mourn together a lost friend. Even here in this box, writing you, I touch you. It's a better world because Barry lived.

Elisabeth said...

I'm with you in the sadness over Barry's death. Thanks Reya.

Anvilcloud said...

It was a blow, but I hope you find solace or something in the rotunda. Or perhaps I should say, "I hope that it finds you."

Anvilcloud said...

Ah Barry. Ah Barry.

Linda said...

My daughters and I would rather read the blog comments than the sympathy cards because the words here are so real, honest and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your spirit with us. Barry would have found all of this incredibly overwhelming. Like you, we miss him so very much. Love to you, Reya and your followers.