Thursday, July 8, 2010

Running with the pack



It's no wonder that canines and homo sapiens get along so well (for the most part). Both species are social predators, pack animals. Dogs who live with other dogs adopt each other, become family. The dog walkers I know say that even dogs who are regularly walked together adopt each other. Once dogs become family, they care for and defend one another as if they were related by blood.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? We humans, too, adopt one another. Some of these adoptions are long lasting, such as when two people marry, thereby binding two families together till death or divorce do they part. Other adoptions are shorter lived, though just as powerful - such as the kind of connections that form within spiritual communities, in classes and clubs, in working environments, on sports teams, in the military, for instance. Right now on FB I am part of a very powerfully related family of people I went to high school with. There is so much trust and love among us, it truly blows my mind.

Certain adoptions only last as long as it takes to have dinner, like the scene last night at the Matchbox, a restaurant on Barracks Row. After drinking too much coffee, then packing boxes all day, I just had to get out, even though it was still 100 degrees at 7 pm, even though the air was hazy and poisonous. Sitting at the bar, I befriended the people around me. I love bar culture, so casual and friendly. That kind of connection never happens among tables of people in a restaurant. My fellow bar people and I temporarily adopted each other, talked about the weather, shared stories from our lives, confided in each other (such as folks will after a drink or two, don't you know?)

What amazing and generous hearts we have. I know I'm supposed to loathe my fellow humans, but I feel just the opposite. I love my quirky, clever, generous species in spite of all our faults, all our flaws. We're adorable, adopting each other so willingly, with so much trust. We make mistakes but our hearts are pure gold. I'm proud to run with my pack, I am. Shalom.


The Capitol looks ghostly in the haze.

20 comments:

Everton Terrace said...

I love how you see things Reya. Don't forget blog land - interesting adoptions going on here as well. You evening sounds fun. I must get out more, really.

Reya Mellicker said...

Oh YES. Blog family is an incredibly powerful way to constellate. In fact I'm off in a minute or two to meet Science Girl, the geneticist who lives in France. Oh yeah!!

Everton come visit DC. We'll go sit at the bar, have a drink and trade stories. Yes? I say yes.

Mrsupole said...

It is wonderful how you put that about adopting each other even if it is only for a short time. We do seem to do this in bloggyworld and it is a wonderful thing, because we can do it with people from all around the world.

But I do love when I make connections with people I meet when I am out and about, or when I was working, and family connections are the best. I love my family so much and there is no comparison but then I also have friends that I love too.

We even seem to adopt all of our pets too. I have never understood why I cry more about this one cat dying then I have ever cried for any person having died. I sometimes think it is because I knew that cat loved me no matter what, he loved me as I was and seemed to think I was perfect, but most of all that cat seemed to need me as no one has ever needed me. I was his protector and savior from something that had happened to him as a kitten and he never seemed to be able to forget it. I loved that cat with all my heart and soul, he was my family. Gotta go get some Kleenex, dang this happens every time I think of him. I miss him so much.

God bless.

The Bug said...

I always amuse myself - I talk a big game of not liking a certain "type" of person, but when I get around one of "them" I end up connecting in some way. Not always - some people just aren't connectable - but most of the time there is that one overgrown avenue where we can meet in the middle.

ellen abbott said...

I love individuals, people I met and, as you say, connect with. But humanity as I whole? I think we are far too destructive. So how can that happen? As individuals we are wonderful, in large groups...not so much.

lakeviewer said...

Yes, it's that bar ambiance that makes you feel so generous with fellow humans. Actually, we do crave connections, the more the merrier, like a big tribe to protect little old me if I need protection. You hit it just right!

Angela said...

I think Americans are especially friendly.

Spiny Marshmallow said...

Yes its true about 'bar culture' as you put it - I love that we connect with people too - its great - you see things widely and warmly.

Reya Mellicker said...

Spiny I hope you're feeling better!

Ellen there are too many of our species on the planet at the moment. That doesn't make us bad, though. That said, I respect your opinion of course!

Tom said...

hot sweaty humans. ugga booga

Linda Sue said...

I adopted you and you didn't even know it! Now I have this section of thought in my brain and heart that is all REYA-ish and is constantly sending off thoughts and wishes in your direction- like family- you are MY Ray YA! Blog world is packed full of love and support and wonderful adopties...good thing for all of us orphans...

Jo Floyd Lucas said...

Reya, you have so many adopted family members because your heart is so open and you are so nurturing.

A group of 9 sister/friends who adopted me about 20 yrs ago have such open hearts that when we go out to dinner (yes, even at tables at a restaurant), we regularly have people ask to join us...and they do! Many have actually asked to be 'adopted'! My heart has grown exponentially by spending time with these wonderful women.

Now, I've been blessed with another family of sisters and brothers (interestingly, there are ten of us, too). It's been an equally meaningful, spiritual, and powerful experience in my life, and I delight more every day in learning just how deeply connected we really are.

I love big packs..er, families!
Much love, Sister.

溫緯李娟王季 said...
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Reya Mellicker said...

10 is the minimum number of people needed to worship according to those who strictly follow the rules of Judaism. A minion, oh yeah. I am very lucky to be a member of several families.

Linda Sue, I have adopted YOU. Did you know?? Bet you felt it.

吳婷婷 said...
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Pauline said...

such a heartening and heartwarming way to view our species.

Pauline said...

such a heartening and heartwarming way to view our species.

Tessa said...

Nothing better, more satisfying, more inspiring, more humour-filled than long, lazy evenings with friends just talking the talk.

Of course, you don't always see - or even meet - good friends. They are just there. Always. Like stars. And we all, no matter how many miles separate us, share that same sky. The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there. Nope, if I want to I can reach out and hold your hand. Oh yes. Salaams and shaloms to you Reya Mellicker over there in hot DC. xx

Hannah said...

This is such a beautiful post, Reya. I love and miss you so much! Love, Hannah

Reya Mellicker said...

Hannah!! Thanks for the visit and the comment. Love you so much. xx