Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Life After Hormones



Of course there is no such thing as life after hormones. Literally as well as metaphorically, from day one until the time we check out of this form, those powerfully concentrated chemicals work us like puppets on strings. Once upon a time I had a fantasy that after menopause, I would suddenly be free from all cares and concerns, that I would be happy to gum my creamed corn and settle into old age. I am so funny sometimes.

Though it's true that my emotional state is rarely as fraught as it was when I was young, I'm still extremely passionate, I care deeply, love deeply. I still flop around. I laugh hard and on occasion cry my eyes out, sometimes for no apparent reason.

Yesterday I was in a really good mood. Had a nice long conversation with a dear one, sat around drinking coffee till 11:00 a.m. Then I got my act together, went out and took a sweaty walk down to Chinatown so I could buy housewares, my favorite thing now that I have my own place. En route, I sat down at Teaism in Penn Quarter to drink iced tea and watch the world go by. A guy at the next table started chatting with me; this is not uncommon in DC; it's a friendlier city than most people expect. But what was completely unexpected is that he asked me out! I was totally taken aback. This was not some old geezer like me. He was youngish (maybe 40 something?) and really cute.

I wonder what expression came over my face. I bet it was funny, whatever it was. I told him I was married. He said, "So what? Cork is a great place to have a glass of wine. Why don't we go - how about Thursday after work?" Whatever stunned expression I was sporting must have become much more exaggerated. What I'm trying to say is that even after he had a very good look at me, he was still interested. Whoa. Or should I saw wow?

I'm 57 and can still radiate pheromones? As you can imagine, I am rather full of myself this morning. I'll get over it. But ... wow.

33 comments:

NanU said...

Hahaha! No reason anywhere why a guy wouldn't want to go out with you!
and yeah, houseware shopping is the -best-.

lacochran's evil twin said...

The question is not whether you are sexy and desirable to men because we all know you are. Brilliantly so. Not only are you attractive physically but you're energy comes through.

The question is, why did you tell him you were married?

Barbara said...

Maybe you should have said yes. Saying goodbye to your hormones isn't taking a vow of chastity! Was he 6' tall?

Janelle said...

aw SHUCKS! how LOVELY! and? are you going???? yay! xxx j

Everton Terrace said...

How very lovely. Don't get over it - wallow in it, at least for the rest of the year. Good on ya girlfriend!! I hope you have a swagger today.

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm not going out with the cute 40-ish guy, no sir, I am not. But I loved it that he asked, that he insisted. Was he high on something? Bizarre.

An interesting phenomena of late is the fact that friends have been bombing me with love spells. First I received the 17 hearts on a keychain (put together by a group of friends I hang out with on FB). Then a very good friend of mine gave me (as a housewarming gift) a feng shui chart and a couple of figurines, a couple, to hang on the wall. She suggested I hang them in the romance corner of my apartment which happens to be the bedroom.

I said, "Kathy, are you giving me a love spell?" She nodded.

So the forces of nature are definitely nudging me in that direction. I guess that cute guy at Teaism picked up on it. I guess. Because I did not look good yesterday - baseball cap, hair all over the place, rasty shorts and a tank top. Crazy!!

Adrianne said...

You always look good, but your power to mesmerize men (and women) has more to do with that fabulous energy you exude.

I had the same question as Lacochran's Evil Twin -- why did you say you were married?

The Bug said...

I love it! That's a nice kick in the pants, isn't it?

ellen abbott said...

Love is in the air? Maybe the urge to have your own place is to open up space for another.

The thing I like about menopause is no longer being at the mercy of estrogen. It's also the thing I miss sometimes. go figure.

blonderthanyou said...

reya...i expect more of you than to judge this man by his age...or lack of it...you CAN do this...
and im tickled bout this whole post!
xoxoxox

Vicki said...

You shouldn't be surprised at all, everyone who knows you,knows you have a beautiful presence inside and out! Stay up on the clouds for a long time and remember you are one Hell of a woman!! Much love!

Reya Mellicker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reya Mellicker said...

Hey Suicide Blond! I didn't judge the guy based on his age. It wasn't right, didn't feel right. Felt more like a gentle knock on the door (my noggin' more like) to alert me to opportunities. It was fine chatting with him at Teaism but I really had no desire for anything beyond that. Without estrogen, I can be so picky.

Saying I'm married is a white lie. So much better than saying, "Listen here, junior, what the hell are you doing?" or "No thanks. I have no desire to drink wine with you." Yes?

Who knows what will happen next??

Amanda said...

life after hormones? hey reya you go girl!! sounds like those love spells are trying to show you that you're a beautiful force of nature yourself!!

Linda Sue said...

Whutchutalkinbout?You are a FOX! You would be hit on every moment if you lived here- SHWING all over the place!
Men are men- and you, are indeed a fox...will be till the day you gum creamed corn, most likely.

Meri said...

Woooohoooo! Way to go Reya! Just steep yourself in that pheromone juice. And why DID you say you were married? Was it just the first thing that popped into your mind to explain why you were so flummoxed?

Reya Mellicker said...

Aww! You guys are so sweet!! Thanks.

Barbara Martin said...

It's always at times when I haven't looked my best is when men make passes at me. As what happened with you, Reya. Though I suspect your energy was the deciding force in his question.

I understand why you wouldn't go out with him. One never knows about strangers, something I think your intuitiveness picked up on. But cherish the flattery as the person whom you are intended to meet will show up and you will know inside that this is the one. Even your spirit guides will push a little.

Jo Floyd Lucas said...

Reya, you are certainly the ONLY one surprised by this experience.

I doubt it has anything at all to do with feng shui or keychains or radiating pheromones. It has everything to do with the radiant beauty which shines from within, warming everyone close to you.

And 'married' or not, we all can use more friends, right? Say yes next time! :-)

Liza said...

That last shot says it all.

I love this post.
Be full Reya, be full.

Reya Mellicker said...

Barbara - oh yeah. When the time is right, my spirit guides will deliver a swift kick in the ass. What they told me yesterday is to notice, enjoy and go no further. That dude - as cute as he was - is not The One.

Barbara said...

What a great story and an oustanding ego boost! And why wouldn't a younger man find you attractive. Your blog exudes positive energy, I can only imagine that in person you would exude the same. Very cool.

Nancy said...

Why didn't you meet him for a drink? Geeze! It's only a drink... or not. But, whatever! You are very pretty - (and I've seen you!) Why wouldn't a cute man be interested?

Pauline said...

now that's something to smile about!

Reya Mellicker said...

I really didn't want to have a drink with the youngish cute guy, but I loved being asked out like that.

lacochran's evil twin said...

You know you can counter offer... "I'm not interested in a drink but have you seen the new photography exhibit at the East Wing?"

With the new apartment comes new possibilities. Stay open...

Reya Mellicker said...

Laura, I might need some counseling on this. Let's get together. Want to swing by the chateau for a glass of wine or a martini one of these days? I would love for you to see the new digs. Maybe you can give me some pointers. I am pathetic at the art of dating. xx

Moonroot said...

You are beautiful, fun and intelligent. No surprise he asked you out. I think you should go have some fun, but I also honour your right to choose who to go have fun with! XX

Reya Mellicker said...

Moonroot? That is the very reason you are so dear to me. Just because someone asks doesn't mean I have to say yes, right? I say yes. Or I say no. Either way it's nice to be asked.

Susan said...

After months of unsuccessful attempts at getting me to go out with him, a handsome 39 y/o co-worker was about to give up when I decided a Saturday lunch date might be ok. That was 3 months ago and a over a hundred meals later. Best decision I made in a long time. I'm 55, by the way! ;)

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

When you're hot, you're hot!!! You go girl!

California Girl said...

ooooh, if he's cute and nice, why not go? I would be so flattered to have a guy that age ask me out. my husband would probably say "Go...
unless I did. hahahaha!

Karen said...

Girl, you are totally hot. I think it's hilarious that you don't know this. :) Enjoy the attention!