Sunday, December 28, 2008


Contrails over Eastern Market, December 27, 2008.

I said a lot of goodbyes in 2008. It was a good year to let go of a whole bunch of different habits, relationships, and personal myths.

I left a business partnership of many years, and in the process, was able to let go of toxic relationships that weren't good for anyone involved. In the wake of that change, and of course with the help of the Sufi acupuncturist, other unhealthy patterns fell away. I say "fell away" because it wasn't hard to stop. These were seriously ingrained patterns. Perhaps the right word is addictions, though stopping was nothing like the misery I associate with rehab.

Addictions I let go of: drinking white wine every night, coffee every morning, eating Clif bars for breakfast, lots of dark chocolate every single day.

When I gave up one of my favorite dinners: popcorn with a side salad, and started cooking actual food for myself every night, the sour stomach I've lived with for decades completely disappeared. Go figure!

A bout of pneumonia that stretched from late September well into October forced me to recycle the myth called I never take antibiotics. The pneumonia served as a powerful healing crisis during which old relational patterns of codependence evaporated into thin air. That illness turned out to be a really good thing, can you imagine?

It's always a scary thing to say farewell, even to unhealthy situations - at least it is for me. But it was all for the good. I feel so much more whole than I did a year ago, so much more optimistic about the year ahead. I can think more clearly, have better energy and am more level headed - and hearted - than I've ever been. So many situations, people and habits that dragged me down are no longer a part of the Saga of Reya. Wow.

Parting is not always a great sorrow, really it isn't. Onwards & upwards, oh yeah!

Sunrise on Tennessee Ave. NE, December 27, 2008


Coffee Messiah said...

Good 4 U!

Although, coffee is one I'll not let go of unless I really have to.

Choices are something which we tend to accept, and responsibility for those choices are often those that we avoid. As you mention, once you take those steps, a whole new world opens, and what was once scary, isn't anymore.

It took me many years to see I did not have to be around toxic people and it has paid off these past 14 yrs and moving a few thousand miles away ; )

I went to a japanese acupuncturist and that too opened a way to deal with some minor health issues due to a back injury, that I knew a regular doctor did not want to deal with except for dosing meds. Aspirin out here when the air pressure changes is all I've taken in many, many years and feel oh so good because of it I'm sure. That is, not having to take meds ; )

Cheers to you and your journey, both inner and outer ; )

mouse (aka kimy) said...

most excellent post! onward and upward indeed.

more of us need to let go to things and people that can ensnare our spirits, health and happiness.

however, after reading this I now have an earworm - hello goodbye.

best to you in 2009 and forever onwards and upwards!!

ArtSparker said...

Munching on my morning dark chocolate as I read your post...

It's always good to realize one is not married to one's "personality armor".

Lori ann said...

i don't like goodbyes too much, much eaiser to say hello to new, i think. i'm so glad you are feeling good about the new hellos in your life.

but no coffee, you are brave!

Wandering Jay said...

First all, amazing photography, the nuances and the streaks of colors are very pleasing. All the food and drink on your list are tasteful, though not necessarily healthy, but then again anything taken in extreme is unhealthy. Thanks for saying farewell to your addictions, in a way it is a reminder for me too to take them in moderation. Happy 2009.

deborah said...

You, Reya, are a great woman
and an extraordinary artist

this second photo is one i'll carry with me through this new year of possibility

love to you

Reya Mellicker said...

Thanks, blogfellows!

I want to say that I don't think there are toxic people out there, necessarily. For instance my ex business partner is a fine woman. It was the combination of the two of us, trying to work as partners, that was toxic. I'm sure she, too, is a much happier person since the split.

Also must say I don't drink coffee every morning anymore, or white wine every night. In fact I've figured out I don't really even like coffee, though I do enjoy the buzz. I've lost my taste for white wine, too. It burns in my stomach, but I still drink red wine which I enjoy in moderation.

Dark chocolate gives me a stomach ache, so I don't miss it at all.

Letting go of these things was not a matter of me being a strong and determined person. They were habits that literally just dropped away. Amazing.

Merle Sneed said...

Reya, beautiful photo and beautiful sentiments. I so happy that things are going your way!

Reya Mellicker said...

Thanks, Merle. What you think matters to me, really it does.

Squirrel said...

Reya you are such a beautiful person,

2009 ! .This past week has been (within the constant flurry of activity and loved ones all around) has been extra special as it's leading to 2009. I'm glad you've gotten rid of things that caused you discomfort. Onwards and upwards, yes!

Adrianne said...

Reya, I am so happy that 2008 has been such a healing time for you. I'm so privileged to be your friend. Onwards and upwards in 2009, indeed. (: )

Steve said...

Terrific. It's so exciting to make changes like that, sweeping aside things that no longer work and reinvesting in those that do. I think I'm making similar changes, though I'm still not sure about what all of them are. :)

Barry said...

I've let go many bad habits this year too, only for me the impetus was my brother having a heart attack and requiring by-pass surgery.

That tended to capture my attention.

Good luck with the Smithsonian!

Mike Qian said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

the sunset in tennessee ave reminds me of a sunset in the other tennessee

TripleLLL said...

Sounds like a great start to a New Year. I knew I had to change when I ate bean dip for supper and cotton candy for dessert.

Alex said...

Thats a nice photo! Congrats on being a blog of note.