Will roses bloom through winter? I hope not. I love roses, but ... it's weird.
I was going to write today about channeling, about Edgar Cayce and his stable personality that allowed him to go very deeply into his mysticism without going crazy. I was going to write about Uncle Aleister Crowley whose personality was not perfectly balanced, hence channeling all that mystery made him extremely weird.
I was going to write about Dr. Helen Schucman, an atheist who nevertheless channeled the Course in Miracles, much to her embarrassment, apparently, since she didn't want anyone to know where it came from until after her death.
I was going to go on a bit about how everyone channels, how everyone loses a little bit or a whole lot in the translation of channeled material but is nevertheless utterly convinced that the way they have interpreted the information is correct.
But then the stalker showed up again today, left a note saying her "inner voices" told her to contact me.
Sigh.
She has been misinformed.
I thought she was gone; it has been many weeks since she tried to connect. This is classic stalker behavior; they never let go. For awhile today after the harassment, I contemplated the benefits of being pissed off or worried, or focusing on the extremely disturbed note and gift I received today. I believe she is schizophrenic. I was miffed that she was banging on the door in the middle of an otherwise very peaceful session of massage I was engaged in. It was so unfair to my client! I was discouraged that she's crazy enough to show up here at the chateau, no matter how many times I have clearly stated that I want her to stay away from me. I seriously considered stewing in my annoyance for the rest of the day.
But then I took a nice walk, I went to Whole Foods - one of my favorite self soothing activities. I brought home ingredients with which to make a nice supper. As I put away the groceries it came to me that being stalked is like a chronic illness. It's like an allergy that can never be totally resolved, or a perpetually sour stomach. I decided, as they say in the Course of Miracles, that I could see peace instead of being pissed off.
Maybe it was the eclipse or maybe I am truly on to better things, but I was able to put it aside, mostly. Of course I'm posting this, so it's obviously still on my mind, but it isn't bugging me. What is, is. OK.
Onwards and upwards. Shalom.
8 comments:
I didn't know about an eclipse. And now the day is over & I missed it.
The stalker is rather upsetting and it would be on my mind as well. I hope she vanishes again because it would be like having background noise all the time, just knowing she could show up. ugh.
It was much more unsettling last summer when she relentlessly texted and left vm's. if it remains sporadic, I'm content to ignore it. If she gets back into frequent harassment, I will get a restraining order. It's exhausting to think about, and sad. She is really disturbed.
I would start on the restraining order. At the very least get something official down of what she's doing so the police have a record of it.
"Inner voices" -- yikes. I agree with Washington Cube. I think it's time for official action.
I talked to my friend who is a social worker last night. I will show her the disturbed note for her professional opinion.
But Steve if you think I should proceed, I will seriously consider the restraining order. She is much worse now than the last time she contacted me, based on the note she left.
Sigh.
From my social worker friend (who works at a psychiatric hospital):
"Without getting caught in the energy, I recommend saving what Elizabeth sends you and documenting all contacts she has with you. Just so you have a record in the event you or someone else ever needs it. Her illness is tricky. It's not obvious like someone who is actively and openly responding to internal stimuli. She knows how to hide and mask it. It will be difficult for someone to help her unless she is ready or she does something deemed dangerous by a mental health professional."
She also recommends that the next time she comes to house, I call the police. Even if she has departed by the time they arrive, her aggressive and unwelcome behavior will be documented.
Poor you!
Dealing with the mentally ill is like trying to juggle fish.
We so need to give them love and empathy at the same time that they are driving US crazy too.
Mental illness is as bad or worse than physical illness, at least with the physical the person is THERE.
So just sending you good thoughts
and
ps get the restraining order too....
Thanks, Elizabeth. Juggling fish, indeed!
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