Friday, November 30, 2012

Anticipation of Wonder



Two weeks from today, I will be standing at my mother's grave. I'm still wrapping my mind around this miraculous event, smiling every time I think about it. I'll be standing with my sister, whose idea it was to place the stone at last, thirty years after my mother's death. When I try to picture the moment, I see us holding hands, breathing, quietly sensing the energy. When the stone goes down, will there be a thump? Granite is heavy. Will they use a forklift or some other kind of huge machinery? Surely they will have to, don't you think? I wonder.

It's a funny thing about me, trying to imagine the energy of a moment that has not yet come into its fullness. I am not prescient, but I try anyway. Maybe we'll be laughing, or crying, or maybe we won't feel a thing in that moment, who knows? I don't and won't know until I'm there. It's fun to imagine.

I don't have to wonder what it will be like to spend so much time with my sister: it will be great. Also great: spending time with my dear friends in KC, walking around, taking pictures, driving through old neighborhoods, thinking about what used to be there.

Can't wait!

What a fabulous year I've had, what a healing, inspiring, and marvelous trip through 2012. Except for summer, which lasted too long and was way too hot, and the aggressive insanity of the stalker, this year will go down in the history of me as top notch.

Have I said recently how grateful I am for my good humor, good health and good fortune? For having work I truly love, for living in a charming, friendly community of good people, for my cozy nest at the base of the chateau? Have I? Must say it again: life is good and I am grateful.

Shalom.

7 comments:

The Pollinatrix said...

I think there will definitely be a thump when the stone goes down. A cosmic, soul-satisfying thump. At least that's how it was for me when I dumped my brother's ashes into the Rio Grande this past spring. I was surprised at how heavy ashes really are, and when I poured them, I was surprised at how quickly and heavily they went down into the water. Perhaps there was no audible thump such as a stone on earth would make, but I felt the thump inwardly. In one sense it was anticlimactic and yet also oddly satisfying. A sort of "It is done" feeling.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

wonderful purpose for the pilgrimage home. i will be holding you, your sister and your mom in my heart on that special day. shalom!

Meri said...

You are blessed (despite the stalker). Enjoy your time with your sister and stay open, as always, to what comes. You have one foot in each world, after all.

Reya Mellicker said...

Yes, a cosmic, soul-satisfying thump. YES

Kim that would really be wonderful, and thanks Meri, yes I do. Don't we all?

ShirleyAnn said...

Though I do not comment I still follow your blog. Will be thinking about you at your stone setting event. You will be in my area. We live 60 miles south of KC. I am still amazed at the growth and change over the years, and am always saying remember when this was...........

Steve Reed said...

I can't wait to see what your photographic eye finds and records in KC!

Reya Mellicker said...

Hi Shirley. I'm sure it's really different. Am so looking forward to it.