Friday, November 30, 2012
Anticipation of Wonder
Two weeks from today, I will be standing at my mother's grave. I'm still wrapping my mind around this miraculous event, smiling every time I think about it. I'll be standing with my sister, whose idea it was to place the stone at last, thirty years after my mother's death. When I try to picture the moment, I see us holding hands, breathing, quietly sensing the energy. When the stone goes down, will there be a thump? Granite is heavy. Will they use a forklift or some other kind of huge machinery? Surely they will have to, don't you think? I wonder.
It's a funny thing about me, trying to imagine the energy of a moment that has not yet come into its fullness. I am not prescient, but I try anyway. Maybe we'll be laughing, or crying, or maybe we won't feel a thing in that moment, who knows? I don't and won't know until I'm there. It's fun to imagine.
I don't have to wonder what it will be like to spend so much time with my sister: it will be great. Also great: spending time with my dear friends in KC, walking around, taking pictures, driving through old neighborhoods, thinking about what used to be there.
What a fabulous year I've had, what a healing, inspiring, and marvelous trip through 2012. Except for summer, which lasted too long and was way too hot, and the aggressive insanity of the stalker, this year will go down in the history of me as top notch.
Have I said recently how grateful I am for my good humor, good health and good fortune? For having work I truly love, for living in a charming, friendly community of good people, for my cozy nest at the base of the chateau? Have I? Must say it again: life is good and I am grateful.