Tuesday, August 21, 2012


I've been a little bit under the weather the last couple of days, not sleeping well, dizzy, queasy. If I had a boyfriend and was 15 years younger I would wonder if I was pregnant. I'm definitely not!

After the glorious experience of Shabbat, all manner of sad news came my way. I have heard awful stories this week, including the news about the neighbor who was beaten severely (who is now squeezing his wife's hand after multiple brain surgeries), about a wonderful, long term client whose life has turned upside down and inside out, about a friend's cat who just suddenly died.

On top of that, the woman who was stalking me has returned in full force. Until last week I hadn't heard from her for a few weeks. I thought I was free. But no. The thing about stalkers is that they don't quit. To her, the aggressive and unwelcome behaviors, the texts, letters, gifts left on the front porch, are all wonderful things to do, things that will convince me that we can be dear friends for life. The woman stalking me can not take it in that all her efforts are a monumental waste of her time.

Here's the text I sent to her today after receiving a long letter in which she suggests we get mediation from a professional. Mediation? This text is almost exactly the same message I've sent her time and time again. I wouldn't even bother, but the social worker and lawyer who have advised me say it's important to document my repeated attempts to get her to bugger off. So I say it over and over. It's clear as a bell, yes?

I can not help you.

You are mentally ill.

I will not meet with you under any circumstances. You can not convince me to do so no matter what you say.

If I see you close to the property I will call the police.


She immediately texted that she meant no harm and would not approach the house, but she did approach the house last week, banged on the door, left a bag of expensive jewelry that I put out on the sidewalk straightaway. Even worse, I think, is that she got one of my bartender buddies at the Matchbox to text me, suggesting I come down to the restaurant. That is despicable! And she has no idea. She is very troubled.

Oh. I am so bugged by this. I would publish her name but there could be legal ramifications from that, I am told. Maybe I should contact her spouse. Or keep trying to just take big breaths and let go. I'm trying.

And I wonder why I'm feeling slightly ill? Good lord.

Looking forward to my massage this week, to seeing the Sufi acupuncturist. May the stalker turn in another direction. May she seek the help she needs.

May I let go of the stress around this. May it be so.



ellen abbott said...

wow, I had no idea Reya! maybe you should tell her spouse. how unsettling and awful for you. may she get the help she needs.

Steve Reed said...

I think I must have missed an earlier reference to this stalker. What a horrible situation! It's good that you've contacted some experts, including law enforcement. Is a restraining order warranted?

And the beating -- ugh.

Surely there must be some people celebrating good news somewhere around you, to balance all this out!

Janelle said...

ah pole sana reya! i've had to leave facebook because of a stalker...it's horrible...such an unwanted invasion. sorry! and horrible that she comes to your door. yes. take the necessary actions. i would. don't wait. enough's enough. and sorry you're feeling odd. me too actually!! also NOT pregnant (thank god) but FEEL like it...menopause?? much love x janelle

Reya Mellicker said...

Janelle I have missed you on Facebook.

Steve she would have to threaten me to warrant a restraining order. So far she has not. She's a lawyer and I suspect that no matter how crazy she is, she knows exactly how far she can go.

It is so annoying!

Pam said...

She's a lawyer??? Not what I expected when I first read this. All the best with this Reya - it is indeed the most unsettling thing. I had a crazy stalking landlady and it does affect your sleep and health. Your personal space is precious - you need to protect it at all costs. Unfortunately due to owning my place of residence, crazy landlady had a way into mine - your stalker has no rights at all. Their persistance is galling.

Meri said...

Reya, I hate to suggest this, but if all else fails, perhaps you might contact the DC Bar. She's over the top.....

Rose ~ from Oz said...

My dear Reya, this is the last thing I expected when I called by today. I am appalled for you, may this 'person' find something else to obsess about. Please know I am thinking of you and can only but imagine how sickeningly unsettling this situation is.

Rose ~ from Oz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reya Mellicker said...

Thank you all for being supportive.

Another lawyer I know has given me excellent advice about how to get a protective order if necessary.

I notice someone commented then deleted the comment. The stalker? If so, please bugger off!

Kerry said...

Oh gosh Reya. A real live stalker. I hope she leaves alone now.

A stalking lawyer is...unsettling.

Cheryl Cato said...

Somehow I missed your earlier reference to a stalker. This is a very unsettling turn for you. Continue to get good advice, follow it, and be alert & safe.