Busted!

I added the emphasis on self development.

"When we seek happiness through accumulation, either outside of ourselves - from other people, relationships, or material goods - or from our own self-development, we are missing the essential point. In either case we are trying to find completion. But according to Buddhism, such a strategy is doomed. Completion comes not from adding another piece to ourselves but from surrendering our ideas of perfection." --Mark Epstein

I am a hoarder of internal development! Who knew? I did not, I really didn't! This quote, off the Buddha page on Facebook, has rocked my world. Holy cow, who knew? One of my FB friends (she writes the Pollinatrix blog) said it perfectly, "Good point. The last thing I need to do is add ANOTHER piece to myself!"

Nor I.

When I read the above, a vision appeared in my head, of the inside of my head/heart, stacked high with ancient Rolling Stone and New Yorker magazines, a thousand crumbling books, millions of tiny and not so tiny ritual objects, also records and CDs, art supplies, piled to the ceiling in a dark, dusty space through which I twist and turn on narrow labrynthine paths. The vision is rather hilarious as I love nothing better than getting rid of old stuff - externally! Internally ... hmmm ... Dr. Epstein has certainly got me thinking.

All the better then that I spent two hours writing nonstop this morning, a process that clears my head, at least so far. It's only day 4. The writing has developed a life force all its own. The words pour out while I stare at the computer screen in amazement and amusement. The things I am learning about myself - well, wow. It is a very cleansing process, the results of which are total crap, not that I've reread a single word. I am cleaning out the closets of my mind this month. Maybe it could be an interesting story if I knew the craft even a little bit. As it is, it is simply raw feed from the satellite transmitter inside my brain. Really bad!

It's also crazy fun and perhaps by doing this month of writing I will bring my mind/heart into more of a balance with my external environment in which there is plenty, but not too much. Ya think?

Glenn I need to pop in to the site and make sure you and I are buddies. I do I do I DO want to read what you're writing. Oh yeah!