Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Nature of True Love



I believe in true love. I do. That might seem funny since I'm single and have been for a number of years. Let me explain.

According to the cosmology of Reya, true love is the love that sticks around, whether or not a relationship is long lasting or "healthy" (whatever that means) or whether things went terribly wrong at the end.

The people I've loved still hold a place of tenderness and honor in my heart. I still love them all, no matter what happened between us, no matter the reason we broke up. From my first husband, John David, whom I married in kindergarten - really, we had a ceremony and everything. I believe my sister Hannah was the officiating minister (she must have been so cute doing the ceremony since she was, at the time, four years old), to Miles (unfortunate disparity in our ages - he was 17 and I was 23 when we met - how could it have ever worked?), to the painting professor, the heart-breaker musician, George - my high school sweetheart, to David at Lake Tahoe, to the violinist with whom I had that torrid affair, to my ex-husband, my girlfriend of five years, to "Hotel Boy" as a friend refers to him, to my always and forever beloved Prince Charming in NYC - and on and on - my heart is still and probably forever resplendent with true love for the people on this list and many more I didn't name.

As a devotee, love is always the way I talk to God. Whether I'm feeling love for the divine wisdom in the abstract, or sensing divinity as it radiates from the people I know, true love is, for me, a most sincere form of worship. True love doesn't disappear or fade - not ever - at least for me. If it does, well then it wasn't true love after all, just a passing fancy.

Happy Valentine's Day to all. Get out there today with open hearts, people! Oh yeah!


30 comments:

Coffee Messiah said...

Very nice and unconditional love is something to strive for, but hard to accept, at least for some.

BTW, Happy (belated) Birthday!

Cheers!

mary said...

Ditto and A-men.

kathi said...

Another beautiful post.
Has me thinking about the true loves of my life too. Love never dies even when it's not returned.
Makes me feel all warm and cozy this morning... Thanks.

Reya Mellicker said...

I have no control over true love. It comes around when it wants to, whether or not I've been striving, or trying to avoid it. Resistance is futile!!

The Family Julz said...

It doesn't fade. Ever. It becomes as much of an ingrained part of our being as the nose on our face. I loved thinking about the adventures you've experienced along the way. Happy Valentine's Day Reya! I've certainly found true love within your cosmology and your blog. :)

John Hayes said...

Well said: even tho I am a very happily married man & have found my truest of true loves, there are people from the past who live on in my heart; I don't yearn for them, but I have fond feelings for them. I like your word "honor."

Reya Mellicker said...

It is an honor to feel the power of true love. I am in awe of it, humbled by it. Sometimes I struggle with all that love in my heart, something I go with the flow.

Reya Mellicker said...

Some TIMES I go with the flow.

Joanne said...

Here's to happy, full hearts!

justin manas prince jaspher ligin said...

"true love is the love that sticks around, whether or not a relationship is long lasting or "healthy" (whatever that means) or whether things went terribly wrong at the end".. thought provoking lines..

Elizabeth said...

A charming hymn to love.
Yes, I still love all of them - my passionate crushes, my unsuitable desires, the ones that never quite were that almost might have been
and all the people I have admired to distraction including writers I never met but wanted to

You have captured the spirit of the day so beautifully.

runmotman said...

Happy Valentine's day to you, and thanks for the kind wishes--maybe this will be my year! And yours as well; hopefully there's enough good karma to go around. Btw, we got more snow today, big fluffy snow flakes.

willow said...

This is the most beautiful post. ((sigh)) I love your positive and loving spirit, Reya.

Happy Valentine's Day.

SafariB said...

I feel humble beside the enlightenment of this blog. Encased in my own frustration at being single. Blinkers on. Time for regaining some balance. Thanks Reya

Robert said...

Happy happy belated birthday Reya. Love is love. But sometimes I wonder if love is everything there is? :-)

janis said...

Happy Valentines Day to my lovely new friend Reya!

Lover of Life said...

I sent you an award in the spirit of friendship - view it on my blog. Happy Valentine's Day!

Granger said...

I love what you said about still loving everyone you've loved before. Some people think that just because someone is gone from your life, then you shouldn't ever think of them again. But they helped shape who you are now. You phrased it perfectly with the "true love sticks around" bit. Well done.

Squirrel said...

To quote you, "it is an honor to feel the power of true love" My love is an amazing person --we met just after college and it was love at first sight. zing. and the zing is still there, stronger than ever. We totally believe in love at first sight, unconditional love and the power of true love.

You have a great memory --I can't be sure who I 'married' in kindergarten!

Lisa said...

unconditional love of all- i strive for this xx

Reya Mellicker said...

My true love is not exactly unconditional. I would not run willingly back into the arms of any of these people, because I'm older and wiser now. But I still love them.

Cautiously, but fully.

Merle Sneed said...

All my best for a nice Valentines Day, no matter how that takes form.

Delwyn said...

Love..."is an ever fixed mark..."

Ronda Laveen said...

Namaste, LOVE, Ronda

Poutalicious said...

This was my favorite Valentine's post of the day.

fush and chips said...

So true Reya. I think once a relationship starts, on some plane it never ends, it just goes on and on.

lettuce said...

:-)

love, reya

Just me said...

He he. I got married at 5 too. :-)

Faithful said...

True love is unconditional! even in the face of adversity!

Steve said...

I admire your steadfast optimism, Reya. :)