Saturday, February 21, 2009
A Fork in the Road
I used to call myself lazy, once upon a time. But after a whole lot of consciousness raising and loving kindness practice, I decided I'm not so lazy. What I am is afraid.
What's just around the corner? I'm always asking myself with great enthusiasm and curiosity. I love potential, I do. Though, when it comes time to make the changes I've so looked forward to, I balk, I sulk. Most of all I worry.
I'm a couple of weeks away from my first workday downtown on K Street. My schedule is full that first day, A Very Good Thing, yes? Yes. But ... since it will be my first day, I'm worrying about what I can't know yet. I'm worried about the big picture, I'm worried about logistical details, I shrink away from the commitment of time and money and yet in my heart of hearts I know that this is a GREAT opportunity that will open doors to who knows what?
My friend Elizabeth says that any time we bring a new room into our lives, all kinds of possibilities become available. In the case of me, it also means new possibilities for worry. For heaven's sake, when will I ever learn?