Thursday, May 10, 2012

Whoa there big fella

I believe in the right to choose the person you wish to marry. Thank you, President Obama, for saying it out loud yesterday. I believe in the right to decide whether or not to bring a child into the world, too. It's so American to believe vociferously in the power of choice, isn't it?

Lately it has come to me that it's possible to choose how much karma to clear in a lifetime. This would never have occurred to me earlier in life. I believed then that we were given karma and that we had to do everything in our power to clear these issues, or else!

Or else what? What did I think, that I could clear every atom of karma in one lifetime? How ambitious of me! That was a long time ago.

Here's what I see from my vantage point of 59 years of age: there's no way to clear all the karma, and indeed in any given lifetime, we create karma just as often as we clear it. Inadvertently, I've created a whole buttload of karma this time around, but I've cleared some, too. My fourteen years with Jake cleared a lot of pet karma, becoming a healer this time around cleared an unfortunate decision in a past life to ignore this particular gift. Things didn't turn out well in that life. Oh well. I turned it around this time.

A story comes around periodically that has to do with a past life in the middle ages in which there's a love triangle, a subsequent betrayal and death. There are knights on horseback, kings, diplomats, just like in the movies. I am cast in the role of queen, something that absolutely does not resonate. It's very weird. The reason I've been wondering what is and what is not real is because I've heard the story a couple of times recently.

This story has been sincerely and forcefully presented to me three times in this life by three different people, none of whom know each other. These people have appeared at times when I've been immersed in working through lifetime issues connected to the very sad, disconnected, unhappy relationship I had with my mother. I know for a fact that the three people who came to me, heart in hand, didn't collaborate, nor did they plan to get caught in this old fairytale, and yet they did. It's so weird! I know it's hard to believe - it's hard even for me!

Is this a coincidence? How could I believe that? I guess I could, but I don't. I see it as a karmic lesson I'm supposed to pay attention to at the least, and perhaps unhinge if possible. Sadly, I have not been graceful in my approach to working with this story and in fact at least the first time it came up, I made matters much worse by falling headfirst into the maelstrom. That was twenty years ago; I'm still cleaning up the detritus. I often dream that I'm cleaning my mother's kitchen which is always filthy in my dreams. Yep.

What I'm thinking this morning is that I'm done with this story. I do not wish to explore it further, I will not try to unravel the energy or understand it or deal with it. Should it come up again with yet another individual, I will turn around and run my ass off to get away from it. I will! I really hope the ancestors, angels, and God hisherself is listening. Y'all? I'm done. OK?

At age 59, I want to live in THIS lifetime, not in the past. I want to take walks, shoot pics, think about things, do good work and become ever more cheerful as my final years come and go. That isn't going to happen if I continue to focus on this story. I wash my hands, heart, and mind of this old tale. Hear ye, hear ye, I am done, finished, fini. The end! May it be so!


Check out the upper left corner of the picture. Wow! 


Anonymous said...

You must know Portia Nelson's poem, Autobiography in Five Steps. I've got it pinned up on my bulletin board and read it at least once a week. But I still fall in holes.


jeanette from everton terrace said...

I am more conservative than you, this we have discussed. Even as a more conservative person, I am so on the same side as you here and I know I raised a daughter who is as well (which makes me proud).
I am still amazed that anyone cares who anyone else marries. Honestly, I do not understand why people care so much about it (those against I mean). What on earth does it have to do with them and their lives? I wish they cared more about people starving, education and child abuse. I cannot believe with all the ills of the world, the environment, human slavery, war and our nation's debt, that this is something people get fired up about. Ugh.

Reya Mellicker said...

Maggie I don't know the poem but am going to read it right now. Thank you!

Jeanette in this way you and I are on exactly the same page!

Reya Mellicker said...

I do know that poem! Hell yeah!

Kerry said...

Good for you Reya. Close that book and open another.

Thirty one states have bans on gay marriage now. It's puzzling...of all the things to get upset about, people who love each other shouldn't be high on the list.

Reya Mellicker said...

It won't last, but it's sad - and hateful.

ellen abbott said...

I don't get the opposition to gay marriage either. Why are those so invested in one man, one woman = marriage so intent on forcing the rest of us to be the same way, to be so rabid about it that they want to make it the law!!! I really don't get the hate that they harbor. And their excuses for it! It will destroy traditional marriage? Like all of a sudden men and women aren't going to get married? I think adultery and divorce are more destructive to marriage than two people of the same sex loving and marrying.

I know what you mean about karma. at this point in my life my goal is to not create any bad karma. if I can clean up some stuff while I do that, great. I know I have a big karma thing with my mother too. I didn't rise to the opportunity when she was widowed, alone, and her health was failing. I didn't ignore her but I resented having to take care of her. But then, she was very demanding and refused to do anything that would make it easier for me to look after her including moving to town (it was an hour and 15 minute drive one way from my house to hers).

Dan Gurney said...

Hey, Reya,

If you haven't seen this already, I'll bet you'll be glad to know of it:

May you have many happy years ahead,


Steve Reed said...

I read a web site recently laying out all the arguments against gay marriage. Not surprisingly, it all comes down to God, and a belief that he will act against our society as a whole if we allow gays to marry. There can be no live-and-let-live in their eyes.

These folks just can't accept that some of us don't believe in that sort of God, and shouldn't have our lives curtailed by their fears.

I was happy to hear Obama finally say what I'm certain he has privately believed for years.