In a matter of days, the trees are going to pop. When that happens, I will no longer be able to see the Capitol unless I'm standing right in front of it.

First Crocus

This morning, flowers cracked open
the earth’s brown shell. Spring
leaves spilled everywhere
though winter’s stern hand
could come down again at any moment
to break the delicate yolk
of a new bloom.

The crocus don’t see this as they chatter
beneath a cheerful petal of spring sky.
They ignore the air’s brisk arm
as they peer at their fresh stems, step
on the leftover fragments
of old leaves.

When the night wind twists them to pieces,
they will die like this: laughing,
tossing their brilliant heads
in the bitter air.

--Christine Klocek-Lim

Lift-Off!

Even just a few days ago, it was still winter, but yesterday everything changed. Spring has sprung. The birds are going haywire in the morning, all of them trying to sing all at once (reminds me of big family dinners when everyone talks at the same time), the bulb flowers are rising, the tips of every twig on every tree (or so it seems) are swollen and ready to pop at any second.

Suddenly the small patches of snow seem completely incongruous. They look fake, like pieces of styrofoam. Why hasn't it all melted yet? Brother Sun is brilliant this morning, the sky is a shocking blue. The crusty leftovers of last winter's blizzards are vestigial remnants of an ancient past. Or so it seems in the light of this beautiful early spring day.

EVERYONE was out yesterday, dancing (as we humans do) in shamanic alignment with the season. Though I have to go to work in a minute, I, too, will get outside every chance I can today. The winter was beautiful and perfect, but I am done with all that. I am ready for the new season. Bring it!

You are what you think ... but ...

Kim Y of the blog Mouse Medicine, at the Portrait Gallery. Portraits of portraits. Oh yeah.

Some days when I'm meditating I "hear" chatter, all kinds of stray thoughts layered one over another. It's such an annoying thing to have to sit with. Some people believe, when this happens to them, that they are listening to the ongoing busy-ness of the personal mind. Some days it feels like I am tuning in specifically to the cacaphony of my own relentless storymaking machine, but some days it seems that if I'm quiet enough during my sit, what I'm "hearing" is the faint soundtrack of all the other minds on Tennessee Avenue, on Capitol Hill, in Washington DC, etc. - all of those minds busily thinking thinking.

Which is why I'm always curious about new age teachers who are convinced that if I employ the law of attraction, for instance, I can acquire everything I need or want. I'm not saying that intentionality isn't powerful, oh my it is so powerful. But on its way to me, wealth, health, love, etc. has to negotiate a million intersections in which the needs and desires of everyone else are rushing to and fro. Sometimes I think that what I pray for doesn't arrive because it's stuck in a traffic jam somewhere, or has derailed in another direction.

Perhaps I'm being too literal here. But if it was as easy to work with the law of attraction as the "new thought" people say, wouldn't everyone be healthy, wealthy, happy and wise? People talk about diets as if they work, but clearly they don't. If they did, no one would be one pound overweight. Right?

I suspect that the powers of the mind in practice, and in the greater community of minds, encounter far more complications than we can imagine. The world is not a simple place and as citizens of this reality, neither are we. If it was that simple, though, wouldn't that be nice?


Surreal, science-fictiony courtyard at the Portrait Gallery. It smelled like plastic in there.

You are what you think

Both pics taken yesterday at the National Portrait Gallery. The above was from an exhibit of artists' "to do" lists. Fabulous exhibit!

The power of the mind is unfathomable, which is ironic, isn't it? We literally can't imagine how much impact what we think has on the way life unfolds. But we're beginning to get a glimmer, a sign that we are evolving, at least I think so.

I'm reading brain books again. These days there are so many written for folks like me who are not scientists but still love all the ideas being explored in science. Right now I'm reading about people who recovered from all manner of "incurable" brain abnormalities, due (the writer thinks) to the plasticity of the brain. No doubt that's part of it.

Change the way you think and you can change your life. It sounds so easy, doesn't it? But in truth, changing the way you think is really hard! I believe that's why a practice of meditation is a part of every spiritual tradition. As soon as it began to dawn on our species that taming the mind would serve us, we've tried with all our might to get a mental grip. But the mind is unruly, recalcitrant. Even the Dalai Lama, whose job it is to meditate all the time, struggles to sit quietly.

This morning I tried to meditate. I really tried hard. But I just got my new computer yesterday. With so many new things to learn, so many new neural pathways just waiting to be carved into the gray goo in my head, I could not settle down. I was just too excited. Eventually I gave up, picked up my new gleaming white macbook, and started futzing. A new computer is a lot more fun than meditating, but ... is that a good excuse?

What the hell. I'll meditate tomorow. Yes? I say yes.

Go to the Light

The year is quickening. The crocuses (croci?) are up above ground, as are the tips of the first bulb flowers, which in DC means daffodils. The sense of rising energy is intensifying every day. The birds are making a fairly serious racket in the mornings, I hear doves cooing, and Brother Sun (actually out and shining today) climbs higher and higher. There's a feeling of anticipation in the air, like the breeze that comes through the subway tunnel a few seconds before you can hear or see the train coming.

Oh yeah. Spring is right around the corner.

Also stirring are the ghosts of DC. One of the things I do (when it comes to me, I don't seek it out) is help people whose houses are haunted. I am not a ghost buster in any sense of the word. The process I use (created by ex-colleague Pomegranate Doyle - thanks, Pom!), helps the ghosts move from stuckness through the mysterious veil to a place where (apparently) they are reunited with their ancestors.

I usually think of fall as the most appropriate season to help the ghosts cross over, but in a way, spring, too is quite perfect. Spring cleaning is a time honored tradition amongst the living, as is springtime restlessness and a desire to break out of old ruts. It makes sense that the dead who are still hanging around our realm would abide by these rhythms.

Sometime in the next week or two I'll be working in a house in Alexandria and a house here on the Hill, helping the spirits move onwards and upwards. Go to the light is a literal reality at this time of year. I'm thinking that the expanding light as well as the rising energy might give these poor spirits a boost not available in autumn. Or not. We shall see.

Trying to Get Slightly Ahead of Myself

The Future (from wikipedia) The future is a time period commonly understood to contain all events that have yet to occur. It is the opposite of the past, and is the time after the ...

Yeah yeah.

It hasn't happened yet, but we count on it, we plan for it in so many ways, hardly ever giving a thought to the reality that the future doesn't actually exist. Interesting, isn't it? We are such quirky creatures. Do other animals wonder about next year? It's hard to imagine.

One of the reasons I love weddings is because they are rituals in which the people involved not only plan for a future, but plan to love each other in that non-existent future. A plan to love, a promise to love, a commitment of the heart - wow. I am always so impressed when anyone has the nerve to do it. I was even surprised when I did it. When people have children, surely that act is based on a belief in a future - a happy future, probably. Wow.

Perhaps it's needless to mention that I have never been much for planning. I don't trust that the future so many others are sure of will ever arrive. It's a big problem for me; I don't think my suspicions about the future have ever really served me well.

But today, with a forwards looking eye, I bought my new computer. It is scheduled to be delivered on Thursday - if there really is a Thursday, that is. I'm actually planning the transition from this old G4 ibook to the new machine, so at some level I must believe that Thursday (at least) will not evaporate into thin air. In a similar vein I met with my colleague to talk about the future of our office space. She invited me to imagine all kinds of configurations.

Spending so much money all at once, based on a belief in the future, has really got me unnerved, not to mention trying to peer into the future of my professional life. Yikes!! I've been jumpy all day, cleaning my room obsessively, etc.

Sometimes I am such a nutcase, even I can hardly believe it. For heaven's sake.

Moon Shadows

Some days when I wake up, I'm kind of sad to leave my dreamscape. I have lots of truly outstanding dreams.

This morning, though, it was a total relief to wake up in my warm, soft bed. I was dreaming that my sister Hannah and I were living in Riverside Park in NYC, homeless, cold and hopeless.

I blame (as Willow would say) "that old devil moon" for the nightmare. She (the moon, not Willow) was so gauzy and powerful last night, shining through her veil of clouds. This morning the sunlight is super bright white/gold, dispersing all the energy of the nightmare. The creepy light of the full moon is just a scary memory this morning. Me? I feel wide awake and fully present, a Very Good Thing, believe me!