Thursday, February 9, 2012

Suits



The dragon full moon kicked me to the curb yesterday. Yes, I blame the moon. No, I do not blame my massage therapist for canceling at the last minute because her sister had a massive stroke, no I don't blame the dear friends who told me that an old classmate of ours, a guy who was adorable the last I saw him (in high school), died from complications around his terrible addictions, and no I do not blame a client whose brush with divine light sent her to the hospital, or my friend's mother who just died.

Nope. I blame the moon.

I felt lower than dog's breakfast, as a Texas raised friend used to say. That's low, people! I wanted to cry which is quite unusual these days. After certain hormonal imperatives become obsolete, aka after menopause, crying is not as attractive a pastime as it once was. But I was tearing up yesterday nevertheless.

Following my recently revised rules around regaining happiness - or at least some balance - I prayed, then got off my ass and out of the chateau. I went shopping for clothes, something I really never do as I normally hate that activity. I tried on suits, lots of suits. Really. I tried on charcoal grey suits with tiny pinstripes, pale tan, black and navy blue suits at Ann Taylor and other boring, predictable stores. The weird thing is, I thought they looked good. Conservative, yes, but good. They fit well and felt good. Strange, hey? It was a strange moon.

When I'm done with work today I might go buy one of those suits. Maybe not. Perhaps I'm still reeling from the effects of that old devil moon and perhaps it would be ridiculous to spend hundreds of dollars on a suit.

I'm thinking this morning of a dear one who, at a young age, lost several family members all at once. Even as a little kid, he insisted on having a suit. I think my shopping spree was an homage to this friend, also to the folks who have recently passed away. Getting older means I'll be attending more funerals. I'm going to one on Saturday, in fact. I need a suit. Don't I?

11 comments:

ellen abbott said...

I like to wear brightly colored clothes to funerals.

Reya Mellicker said...

Oh. Maybe I should dress as I usually do.

Reya Mellicker said...

Oh. Maybe I should dress as I usually do.

John Foley said...

There is something to be said for owning some mourning clothes. They need not be a suit, or expensive, or even dark. The old-time custom of wearing black for a specific period of time, then taking it off when you done 'officially' mourning, and getting on with things can be therapeutic. Shiva works. Who knew?

Reya Mellicker said...

I love you John.

Jo said...

I agree with John. I've come around, too, to seeing the inherent value of some formal structure to mourning.

It helps to give some definition to the vague and sorrow-filled feelings that we have...gives it a name, I suppose.

I can imagine you looking very elegant in a suit. It's certainly not important to the one who's passed, but it can be part of caring for yourself during this difficult time.

nerima roberts said...

Reya, the full moon we had this week wrecked havoc on my students. Let me tell you, my junior high students have been OFF THE HOOK. I blame it all on the full moon.

Reya Mellicker said...

That ole devil moon!

Thanks Jo. I am not personally grieving over these losses. It's a weird, second cousin kind of involvement I have, caring for the people who are grieving. It's so crazy.

Pam said...

Just dropping by to find out when your birthday is - knew we both turned 59 around the same time this month - beat you to it by just a bit!

Steve Reed said...

Everyone needs at least one suit -- so I say go for it! But don't just wear it on sad occasions. Wear it out to dinner or to the theater or when you travel. Enjoy it!

Reya Mellicker said...

Hey Pam, I must drop by your place to wish you the happiest as well.

Steve, if everyone must have a suit, then so shall I. Thanks!