Friday, December 9, 2011

the devil wears prada

What's your style? Everyone has a style, you know. Even "I don't give a rat's ass what I look like," is a style.

Those who know me will find it hard to believe I really love beautiful clothes. I love wearing well fitting, well styled, flattering clothes. I do! What I dislike, fear and avoid at all costs is shopping for clothes. Huge department stores completely bewilder me. It takes every ounce of willpower not to run screaming from the sensory overload of Macy's or Nordstrom. (I feel exactly the same way at Costco or Home Depot). Should I manage to contain myself, the next problem is selecting what I want to try on. A thousand hangers loaded with fabric shapes, colors and textures, hanging on row after row of racks, on floor after floor. Bloody hell, I'm overwhelmed; I can't tell what I like or don't, it's synapse bustin' TMI for a slow processor of information such as myself. Smaller stores, like boutiques, are a lot easier to go into but they're almost all outrageously expensive.

Then there's the humiliation of the dressing rooms. If the fluorescent lights and stark mirrors weren't bad enough, I have the additional problem of being built for clothes from another era. My legs aren't quite short enough for petite sizes, but are way too short for misses. I'm between number sizes, too. Everything I try on is either a little too big or too small. It's discouraging, believe me.

During the 70s and 80s I wore a lot of vintage clothing. Clothing design from the 40s and 50s provided many options for bodies shaped like mine. But now that I am vintage, I'm not clear this style is the best idea any longer.

I mention all this because I've been trying to buy some new clothes lately - shopping and trying things on - and failing to arrive home with anything new. Oh man do I miss my lifetimes as a man. How I would love to put on a suit every morning. Suits look good on everyone, provided they're tailored and well made. A cheap suit is never a great idea, but nice suits? Wow.

I was also a nun in many lives, as well as a monk. A whole series of lifetimes centered around nursing and house service (maid, butler, cook). In all those lives I was required to wear a uniform of some kind. Those were the good old days.

That was then and this is now. Do I want to go the route of internet shopping? Oy vey.

Life is good, my complaints are inconsequential. Oh yeah.

James Bond almost always wore suits or tuxedos, no matter what. Also I would probably look good in Moneypenny's outfit.


The Bug said...

I have always hated shopping too - my body type is an hourglass (without the top part of the glass - heh). My waist is always about 2 sizes smaller than my hips, no matter how much weight I carry. Every pair of pants I try on has a huge gap at the back. I look best in a poodle skirt!

And yet I rarely buy skirts. Do you know why? Because they're always the pencil style. I am NOT a pencil - even skinny I'm not a pencil!

Ah well, I'll just muddle along with my sweaters that cover the gaping pants :)

ellen abbott said...

sounds familiar. I'm short waisted and flat chested and between sizes as well. and don't get me started on blue jeans whose lengths are tailored for women who wear 6" spike heels all the time.

rahree said...

I'm with The Bug and Ellen, but I will say that my dry cleaner will take in the waists of skirts and pants for about $6, and it has made ALL the difference. (I have 3 pairs of pants that went from 'oh, i really don't like those but i should wear them or give them away...' to 'i LOVE the way i look in these!" after a well-spent $6.)

Reya Mellicker said...

Yeah. So I'm not the only one who struggles. I have friends who think shopping for clothes is fun.

Fun?? Seriously?

Reya Mellicker said...

Rahree - $6? In DC I would be hard pressed to find such a deal, but it's worth thinking about, pursuing. Thanks!

Elizabeth said...

But you always look splendid.
I agree that vintage clothes were utterly the best.

Agree too with too much too much at Macy's!
I like the Gap because they let Buster in and it is about 500 ft from our house......
When I am feeling rich, I go to see a friend who works at Eileen Fisher ( and gets me discounts....)
Her clothes last forever --just had new elastic in my eight year old red velvet Mrs.Claus skirt.
I will not reveal my figure faults to the world. Hee Hee.

Meri said...

I'm into jeans or non-cling leggings and layers on top because I'm always cold except when I'm having hot flashes. No heels for me! I have cute little flats from Arcopedico and even some cornflower blue "muckboot" shoes with lilac trim. . . quite the fashion statement. By the way, I republished this on

Steve Reed said...

I agree. Clothes shopping is a nightmare. Too many choices! I mean, even buying a pair of jeans -- do you want 501s or 503s or 505s or 503(b)s or 401(k)s? Know what I mean?