Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Life is good and I am grateful

I've felt better ever since I posted yesterday. Sometimes it's good to speak plainly. Sometimes it's good to be open. I've been thinking that in old age, why not be completely honest? I mean - unless it would hurt someone's feelings - in which case honesty is not the best policy, not at any age.

Anyway, after I posted yesterday, I had a great night's sleep during which I dreamed an old crony had mistakenly stepped on my glasses and cracked the lenses. The dream lifted my spirits. I know why but can't explain it. When I woke up, nothing hurt and I wasn't dead. So see? There are no absolutes, I said to myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.

Though it's cold for two more days, or so they say, the green world is emerging as fast as it can considering temps in the 20s F at night. That's REALLY cold for DC in April. Nevertheless the green world carries on. It will carry on long after we're gone, as it did before we arrived. This truth always makes me smile for some reason.

One of my friends posted a meme today about how she doesn't want to be seen as a sweet old lady. She'd rather have people thinking, "Oh god, here she comes. I wonder what she's up to now?" when they see her.

I've thought about it all day, Ellen - thank you. I've also been thinking about what another friend said, that in spite of everything she imagined, she has become a contemplative in early old age. Pam: thank you!

I'm wondering if I should abandon the hearty, red-cheeked, laughing old lady archetype and head in the direction of these ideas. A cantankerous old lady who is also a thinker ... this is an archetype I've not encountered yet, but definitely something to aspire to.

During a session today at work, it came to me that I don't have to work so hard at being an old lady. I could simply let it happen. Why not? It's a tendency to tilt into everything, but maybe I don't have to be so focused. I'm wondering about it.



Steve Reed said...

I think your final thought here is your best path -- just live each day however it happens. You don't have to define yourself. In all likelihood you'll be happy and red-cheeked as well as mischievous and cranky at different times in your long future!

Elizabeth Wix said...

Wisdom lurks round every corner....!
Yes, you really don't have to try terribly hard to be anything.
You are pretty much stuck with whatever you were going to be anyway.
My (not very deep) advice is to plough on with life.....and not worry too much about it.
But it is really rather fun and being an old bat and saying EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK.
We should be grateful to have lasted as long as we have.
Two young women in their 30's, close family friends, have horribly serious illnesses. I doubt they will get the luxury of oldbatdom.......PEACE!

Reya Mellicker said...

It turns out I'm just as ageist as the rest of Anerican society!

Reya Mellicker said...

I definitely am grateful, but conflicted. It's not rational.

ellen abbott said...

I think we don't really change as we age so much as we become condensed.

Rebecca Clayton said...

I try not to think about how things ought to be. I always end up worrying about things that don't happen, or hoping I can prepare for the unpreparable. (Churches used to ask us "Are you prepared to die?" Stupid, unhelpful question.)

I do best if I just focus on "What am I going to do now?" So far, I haven't ended up knitting in a houseful of cats and African violets. But that might be fun, too.

Reya Mellicker said...

Ellen - YES.

And yes, Rebecca, that is a ridiculous question! Good lord.

Well, perhaps I'm over the hump of turning 60. I hope so - it has been a crazy ride.

Pam said...

I'm thinking to myself - a houseful of cats and African violets - that sounds alright!