I've felt better ever since I posted yesterday. Sometimes it's good to speak plainly. Sometimes it's good to be open. I've been thinking that in old age, why not be completely honest? I mean - unless it would hurt someone's feelings - in which case honesty is not the best policy, not at any age.
Anyway, after I posted yesterday, I had a great night's sleep during which I dreamed an old crony had mistakenly stepped on my glasses and cracked the lenses. The dream lifted my spirits. I know why but can't explain it. When I woke up, nothing hurt and I wasn't dead. So see? There are no absolutes, I said to myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.
One of my friends posted a meme today about how she doesn't want to be seen as a sweet old lady. She'd rather have people thinking, "Oh god, here she comes. I wonder what she's up to now?" when they see her.
I've thought about it all day, Ellen - thank you. I've also been thinking about what another friend said, that in spite of everything she imagined, she has become a contemplative in early old age. Pam: thank you!
I'm wondering if I should abandon the hearty, red-cheeked, laughing old lady archetype and head in the direction of these ideas. A cantankerous old lady who is also a thinker ... this is an archetype I've not encountered yet, but definitely something to aspire to.
During a session today at work, it came to me that I don't have to work so hard at being an old lady. I could simply let it happen. Why not? It's a tendency to tilt into everything, but maybe I don't have to be so focused. I'm wondering about it.