Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Horn of Plenty
One of the meditation techniques I use is labeling. When I wake up inside a thought, it helps me to categorize the thought before returning to the sensation of my breath, i.e. "planning," or "remembering." "Worrying" is also a label I frequently apply to whatever is distracting me. Some people don't need the labels, but they really help me.
When my head is overflowing with plans, memories, worries, hopes, fears and dreams, rather than trying to name every kind of thought, every manner of story I'm telling myself, sometimes I just say "Horn of Plenty." Then I go back to the sensation of breath for awhile.
I used to ask friends, boyfriends, etc. "What are you thinking?" I'm curious, and too, my mind can generate a horn of plenty thoughts at any given microsecond. When people responded by saying, "Nothing," I always wondered what that meant. They really were thinking of nothing? Nothing?? Or they might have meant, It's none of your business. Probably the latter, yes?
My head has been so overfull of thoughts lately that even the cornucopia can not begin to hold them all. This morning, in a desperate attempt to find some peace while meditating, I made a list of thought types. The list went on and on. As the list lengthened, I began to laugh. The laughter sounded odd, felt odd. I realized I haven't really laughed since the beginning of the shut down.
It isn't just my annoyance at the chuckleheads in the Capitol that has me thinking myself silly. There are a couple of clients I'm worried about. Also a kind man who lives across the street died a few days ago, bringing home the reality of mortality. And, too, we're into Halloween season, my least favorite holiday. Why is it fun to be scared? In particular, why is it fun to scare children? I don't get it, nor do I appreciate the effigies of witches rammed into trees, pictures of barfing pumpkins on Facebook, etc. Yuck.
All of the above was jammed into the horn of my head when I started laughing. Finally I decided, screw the meditation today. Instead of being all steady and grounded and such, perhaps today I'll try to have some fun. What a concept! It's a gorgeous day. I'm seeing clients but will have time late this afternoon to get out for a walk. My goal is to try to enjoy the walk, to tune in to a different wavelength than the energy current of Congress.
Holy cow. I should avoid that energy current EVERY day. Shouldn't I? Well, yes. Yes. Yeah. Onwards and upwards.