Thursday, February 24, 2011


No star mandarins, no strange clouds, nothing unusual in the sky yesterday. Sweet.

"This moment is the perfect teacher." --Pema Chodron

Mindfulness - bloody hell - it's hard. At least it's hard for me. I have a lot of theories about why it's so hard, why every tradition I know about includes a process for steadying the attention. I know that I benefit from sitting every morning, and I know I keep myself from going off the deep end in many different situations because I've had so much practice. And still, it's hard.

Yesterday I had a whole day of unstructured rest. My mind was wandering here, there and everywhere. For instance: I know that the brick sidewalks of Capitol Hill are treacherous, but my eye was on the sky and the almost-budding trees, tra la la, which is why I tripped (but did not fall, thank God) repeatedly.

I dropped my wallet on the Metro (but noticed and picked it up immediately - a good thing because someone could have - and would have - easily scooped it up). I left the container of blueberries at the cash register after I paid for them (though the nice people at YES! Market ran after me as I left the store, made sure I had the blueberries I tried to leave behind.)

I ate too much yesterday because I wasn't paying any attention to whether or not I was hungry, and I drank too much (a little bit too much) probably because I was bored.

During weeks like last week when my sanity and groundedness depend on being mindful, oh man, I can get in there and be seriously, professionally mindful. But a day like yesterday when allegedly I need to take a break from it all, I am an idiot. For heaven's sake.

I am very grateful to all the angelic interventions yesterday that kept me from falling, losing my wallet, leaving the groceries behind, and god knows what else. Today I have some errands to run, and, too, I may invent a few chores to do around the chateau. Structure keeps me on my toes, apparently! Gosh.

At the Hirschorn.


jeanette from everton terrace said...

My daughter and I are like this, much much better when we are busy. Though I prefer busy and she does not :)

Reya Mellicker said...

I love busy, but I also believe in rest. Maybe mindful rest is something I can work on. Ya think?

Angela said...

But aren`t such days lovely?

By the way, do you happen to know the poem "Belsazar" by Heinrich Heine? I have not found a good English translation, but it is such a great poem, after the incident of King Belshazar and the flames writing a warning on the wall. I wonder why those "Kings" of today in Northern Africa and Arabia do not/did not see the flames of menetekel on their walls! A sign of NOT being mindful!
"Und Belsazar wurde in selbiger Nacht von seinen Knechten umgebracht." Is that what Gaddafi is expecting now?

Reya Mellicker said...

Angela, I think it's denial. Watching Qaddafi, so enraged, I realize - wow - he really does not get it.

The Bug said...

Well Reya you've just described a typical day for me :) Well, maybe not quite THAT bad - but I am guilty of rarely being really mindful. And yet when I look back I can't see whatever it was that I WAS thinking about - tra la la is as close as it gets.

I was in a meditation workshop once & we were challenged to do ONE mindful thing the next day. I chose to drive mindfully & that was the most pleasant commute I had had in a long time. If it's enjoyable & centers me why don't I want to do it? For the same reason I like broccoli, but pick chocolate if given a choice?

Jo said...

Reya, I'm delighted to hear that you are also sometimes unstructured, unattentive, and ungrounded.

But an idiot? Never.

The photos are testement to the beauty of the day that proved to be the distraction. I say good for you for putting your attention there and allowing those angels to pull their weight once in a while!

I hope you have another such heavenly day today!

Reya Mellicker said...

I believe "ijit" is the correct way to pronounce it.

Bug there you go again, diminishing yourself. What is up with that?

Butternut Squash said...

Now that's being relaxed.

As long as nothing serious happened, it's all good. Peace.

glnroz said...

Mindfullness(is that a word) must not be contagious. I think that it would be a good thing if that were the case. Ok, i sometimes catch it from what I read here. Now, where did I catch my "forgetfullness".:) oh well,,:)

Dan Gurney said...

I find that busy days when I have to be "ON" all day long can end up being not so bad: just take care of all the turmoil (you know, in kindergarten) coming my way. I usually know just what I need to do.

Vacant days when I'm officially "OFF" all day can be much more challenging: sometimes on those days I have to deal with inner turmoil which can be trickier than the outer turmoil. Like you say, the laundry, cooking, walks outside, the ukulele (well you didn't say ukulele) really help.

Tess Kincaid said...

Thank God for those angelic interventions.

Vicki said...

Ha! Welcome to my life every day! I long for structure but alas it isn't in the cards. I have lists with lists to remember everything I need to get finished, bought or taken care of... One of these days I'll look back and laugh but for now I am on the train and don't see it stopping.

Much love to you today and always!

steven said...

reya! i'm glad that you are watched over and cared for by angels. there's a goodness about you that draws care closer. steven

Whitney Lee said...

Maybe days like this are necessary to remind you of the need for mindfulness, or to help you appreciate its effects. Then again, maybe it's just good for everyone to feel like a boob every now and again. It keeps us humble.

Anne said...

I had a day like that, too. No clue as to what that was. But I also got saved -- from losing things, from getting a parking ticket -- whole day like that. What was up. Indeed.

Reya Mellicker said...

Angelic interventions all around! Very cool.