No woman is an island - apparently! I used to think I was an island, that I didn't need anyone for anything. In fact I thought it was best never to rely on, or connect too deeply with, others. Yes I have had lovers, also many great friends, but up until recently, I kept most people, and most communities, an arm's length away. In the case of the spiritual community I was a part of in San Francisco, I found myself either at the edge of that circle, or in the very center of the action. I never took the opportunity to simply mingle. It never even occured to me to do so. What was that all about?
Ironically, during this past year of living alone, I've begun taking baby steps towards stronger interconnections with others, individually and collectively. I've been slightly more willing to reveal myself, to open my heart to others in a way I can't ever remember doing. It's kind of a miracle.
Over the weekend just past, I gathered with friends to celebrate a wedding, then again yesterday with neighbors to feast and toast the Dead. I call myself a serious introvert, but the truth is that neither one of these gatherings was in any way tiring. Maybe the strain of holding myself back all the time is the reason I used to be so exhausted after interacting with more than one or two people at a time, who knows?
What I'm thinking this morning is that I am RICH in friends, community and family with whom I can be quirky, bossy, passionate, impulsive and goofy, sometimes all at once. The facade I call "Mama Gaia Reya," something I hid behind for many years, is fading fast. I owe a debt of gratitude to friends, neighbors and family who have repeatedly encouraged me to be myself, to come back to the human community (I used to be so feral). You know who you are! THANK YOU!
Neighbors from Tennessee Avenue at last night's gathering.
10 comments:
I LOVE that bottome photo! It looks like an outstanding gathering, with two-footed and four-footed friends enjoying the festivities!
We're all evolving with every breath, right? I'm so glad to hear that your connections are evolving as well.
Wish I'd been at that party. Those doggie friends are so beautiful.
*bottom* (looks very French the other way, though!)
You would have had a lot of fun, no doubt, Jo.
I like "bottome." Yeah. I might use that.
yay!
Super cool!!! The bottom photo makes me want to re-vise my kitchen to be more open, fun & inviting! So happy you are having fun & being you.
Perhaps, not so much at arms length as you once thought. I feel at ease with your words and pics,,,
thats a malamut `(sp?) wow. can i come next time?
What a wonderful photo. 2 and 4 legged all together!
There are times for solace and times for friends. Too many people are like costume jewelry, pretty for a while, but not lasting. Then you have a few friends are diamonds and there, that is when you can be yourself and shine among them..
Val you are always welcome. You, too, Glenn.
And yes, I wouldn't/couldn't let everyone in too close - just the important people. But I have a big community of friends, neighbors and family with whom I can actually mingle. The times, they are a-changin.
i like the beers on the window ledge. the window open. the big dogs. the big people connected. a good space reya!!! so cool for you. steven
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