Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Spirit Guide Do's 'n Don'ts

This post is not about trying to convince anyone that spirit guides are "real." I've worked with guides for many many years and yet I still have my doubts about whether or not they "truly" exist. If you're curious to hear how I avail myself of what I think of as a human birthright to access a wisdom that's greater and more pervasive than rational function, read on. If not, that's great, too. I have no agenda.

My first guide came to me long ago, during my 20's, in the form of sudden flashes of insight that arrived fully formed and were confirmed to be "true" by external sources. For instance, I used to read newspaper horoscopes but I always thought they were total crap. One day while I was taking a long walk, the "story" of astrology came to me from out of the nowhere. As a result, I decided to take a class. When I told the "story" of astrology during my turn in the first class (when everyone says why they're taking the class), the teacher's jaw dropped. She said, "Where did you learn that?" I was so taken aback that I lied, said I'd read it somewhere, but she shook her head NO. She told me it was an arcane astrological theory that was kept secret, only passed to astrological adepts at a certain point in their training. On the spot, I lied again - I said I had learned it from an old lady who grew herbs and was a healer, who had learned astrology from her grandmother. As it turned out, I wasn't really lying, I was describing my oldest spirit guide. That was thirty years ago. She has been guiding me ever since.

Sometimes they come to you the way my first one did. Sometimes, though, you have to ask for help.

If you want to contact your spirit guides, first of all think about what you'd like some help with. There are many presences or beings or intelligences or whatever you want to call them who will only waste your time, and of course there are some Really Not Very Nice intelligences that cause people all kinds of trouble - you do NOT want to get involved with a being who tells you to go shoot everyone at the mall. No. Do not go there, people!

Maybe you're chronically anxious and would love to avail yourself of some wisdom and comfort to help you learn a different way of walking through the world. Or you've moved from one job to the next but nothing satisfies and you'd really like to know your soul's purpose. If you've suffered losses or endured trauma, spirit guides can help you figure out how to heal from these experiences, and gather all the possible wisdom from them that you can. Got a problem that defies solution through the rational process? Ask. It'll happen.

I've never yet "met" a guide who can help you win the lottery; money just isn't a driving force in the astral plane. What a shame, yes? (Just kidding.) But for core human situations and dilemmas, they can be a great help.

Once you have in mind what you'd like to work on, then open your heart, ask silently, from your heart of hearts, for some help. You might have to do this a number of times - please be patient. It will happen if you're sincere and persistent. After you ask, you have to make space to "listen." You have to open your mind and heart, you have to become "empty" and curious. If you don't, then the tyrannical rational function will never shut up long enough to allow the great wisdom in.

Guidance comes in many ways, for instance as a daydream or a sudden flash. Some people "see" - in the mind's eye - a figure of some kind. Others "hear" voices. For some it is more a sensate experience of presence. For some people, guides come to them in regular dreams. It varies from individual to individual. Be open to however it comes.

The best and most universal place of contact with guides is in the shower. Neurologists have noticed that when the brain relaxes, insights come more frequently. Many people get their best ideas while in the shower, or put things together, solve problems, etc. I call it The Voice in the Shower. It is a very powerful guide. Here's an article from the Telegraph about the phenomenon. Or you could read about it here in the New Yorker article. I think what happens when the brain relaxes is that a channel opens so the greater wisdom can enter.

There are probably thousands of guided meditations out there on the internet that will take you to a place in the imaginal realm where you can meet your guides. Use your skeptical mind when investigating these possibilities, please! The internet is full of bulls**t as we all know.

When you do make contact with a presence, it's always a great idea to ask his/her/its name. Open your mind and wait. The first name that comes to you is usually the right one. But if your intuition sends up a red flag, ask again. Be demanding - this process is like a job interview. You need the right guide, believe me. Watch out for trickster guides who can not help you and will just confuse you.

Here are some things spirit guides should never do:

They may not command you, tell you what to do. Guidance is about suggestions that often come in the form of riddles or puzzles that you have to work out.

If they suggest acts of violence or ill will, send them away. Guides must always suggest acts of compassion and peace.

If they invoke in you a sense of paranoia - by telling you, for instance, that someone is "against" you, get rid of them.

If they want to be your lover, then this is not a spirit guide but some other kind of intelligence that wants to syphon your life force for their own purposes. You are human - if you want a lover, find a human lover, please! Cross species sex is always gross!

To send a spirit guide packing, be polite but firm. In your mind or out loud say, "Thank you for coming, but I will not work with you. GO!" Say it like you mean it, they'll leave.

This post is way too long. I'm sure I forgot certain bits I meant to put in here - when they come to me I'll add them into the comments section. Questions? Thoughts? Judgments?


Washington Cube said...

I emailed you, so you know where my head is at. But agreed on being in a very quiet space and open, and I have to laugh because, boy, are we not a generation of quiet space with time attached to it. Thank you for being teacher this a.m.

Elizabeth said...

I will have to think a little about the spirit guides
though I do believe in inspiration
a voice telling you what to write\just sometimes

You are right about Janelle
A wonderful spirit - -probably the best writer on the web (other than you, dear Reya)
I almost believed her wonderful story to be true
maybe it IS true on one level!

I have just finished writing a story for children where past and present get mixed up
Jane asks an old countrywoman if history is quite different
the old lady replies: well it is and it isn't.....

Reya Mellicker said...

For me the past and future are constantly getting stirred together in the present.

One of my friends refuses to categorize the greater wisdoms and intelligences. He just calls them "The Mysterious Ones." I love that.

Just thought of one other thing guides may NOT do - they may NOT live inside your body. That's possession, and it will not help you.

Lynne said...

I would love to have a spirit guide, but I don't think I have any. Sometimes I hear voices inside my head but I always thought it was just me talking to myself. ?

Love the first pic. Fits perfectly with this post

mouse (aka kimy) said...

thank you. I believe you have helped guide many with this beautifully written explanation (btw it wasn't way too long at all!) I believe you are a real spirit guide....


Butternut Squash said...

Wow Reya.

You are so well directed right now. It gives me hope that we are all on the cusp of something much better.

Because of the things that I sell, I am always meeting the egocentric fortune teller types, potion sellers, and their followers who don't think and would believe in anything.

When you meet true wisdom, it is obvious, truthful and compassionate. I have always believed that you will know them by their fruit.

Keep teaching. Thanks.

Kat Mortensen said...

I think believing in a positive force, be it in the form of a God, an energy or a "guide" is only a good thing.
I do believe in Guardian Angels.


Unknown said...

excellent post Reya- i am so damn tired i cant absorb it all but will pop back in the morning- its almost 1am here now xx

tut-tut said...

A wealth of helpfulness, Reya. It is helping me with my dreams, too.

Merle Sneed said...

Your posts are always so thoughtful and interesting. You are the best, kiddo.

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Reya, could you clarify something for me? Well, maybe a couple somethings, if you don't mind? Are you Christian? Not that it matters, because I'm Christian and I believe in things like this in addition to believing in God...do you believe the spirit guides are sent by God, or am I way off? Secondly, do you think that deja vu-ish experiences are brought on by spirit guides? I can't say I have a spirit guide that I've communicated with, but I have deja vu a lot, and it kinda creeps me out!

Andrea said...

My best and clearest ideas always come to me when I'm walking. I know it's because my brain is relaxes - away from people, phones, computers. I'll have to call that My Voice on the Walk.

I love your posts - they always get me thinking!

Janelle said...

mine is called michael. i was sitting here doing what you wrote and he just laughed at me...like, man, you KNOW me! made me smile...he has been with me for years and years..sometimes i forget it...forget him...he is very forgiving. very. with a great sense of humour...and there's someone else too...two others..i am not sure who they are...one, an old wise woman of the mountain....the other, a friend of michael... great post. thanks for sharing and reminding me! love always xxx j oh and THANKS elizabeth for your kind words...and you too dear dear shining reya...so kind xxx

Reya Mellicker said...

If Merle Sneed thinks I'm the best, then wow. I am doing something right!

Fidgeting Gidget: I was raised in a very observant Jewish family, and still consider myself a Jew, even though I've been initiated into a Goddess cult, two shamanic traditions, and have practiced Buddhist meditation for 25 years. I am a devout spiritual seeker. It's hard to put a label on me, but I don't think Christian fits, though I am so in love with various parts of Christian tradition. I love Easter, wow!

As for where guides come from, I'm not sure. Most of the multiverse is a mystery to me. I'm certain I would not have sought spirit guides if left to my own devices, but since the old wise woman came to me so long ago, I have followed that path.

It's what they are or where they come from that concerns me. It is whether or not they can actually help me. That's why I only work with guides who bring lessons in how to become more peaceful and compassionate. There's a name for the kind of guides who promise riches, fame, sexiness, etc. When one of them approaches, I do use a Christian phrase, "Satan get behind me!" I don't need that kind of energy, thank you!

Janelle all my guides have a great sense of humor. All of them think I'm so funny and laugh at me all the time. When I'm not in a mood to believe in them, they don't care. They are there when I need them.

Reya Mellicker said...

It's NOT what they are or where they come from that concerns me.


CocoDivaDog said...

Good morning reya & jake,
Your first photo scares me...
Right now I am blogging (again) under my desk at work, so I will have to return later tonite to read your thoughts more carefully...
bye for now.

Susan said...

Definitely wise not to accept the guides who promise fame and fortune, or those who bring violence or paranoia.

The Bible advises "testing the spirits", and that sounds like what you are doing as you seek wisdom and insight.

Carolyn said...

Reya, thank you for this post. It is very interesting and I look forward to reading more. I love the photo of the tulips.

California Girl said...

Some of what you describe seems meditational as it falls in line with listening to your inner voice. I have a very strong inner voice which I trust. I cannot say I've ever felt I had a guide that I could characterize although I did think my late grandmother was guiding me when I was in college. I was raised with a pretty strict Baptist upbringing and I don't know that I could cope with that unless it were Jesus. However, I do believe in spirituality and the neural network and that the spirit lives on past the body and may guide us.

JC said...

Since my coma, I have had a sense of peace. Like I was being watched but by whom, I don't know. Like I went somewhere and came back here. I don't remember but I just have a feeling that I have things that I should know. Is that a spirit guide or just a weird feeling ?

Jen said...

This is so interesting. Thank you so much for writing this. I know that myself and other women in my family have "heard the voices" and I have seen figures, myself, however I never really thought about who they were or what they could be telling me. Your post gives me inspiration to listen!

Tess Kincaid said...

Fascinating post, Reya. I always wondered why my best inspiration comes when I'm in the shower!

Washington Cube said...

I like the first photo. It's a ...wait for it....Cube! ;)

Unknown said...

Thanks for such an insightful post-- & so many wonderful comments; openness may be another way of thinking of a deep willingness-- not will power, but the kind of willingness the 12-steps programs talk about when someone "hits bottom." That is certainly an uncanny experience & one that stands outside "oneself."

Thanks again.

Reya Mellicker said...

The pic is of a statue of some judge in front of a building on Constitution Ave. just west of the Capitol. Right after I took the pic, some random woman asked if I wanted my picture taken with the judge. That was sweet of her, don't you think?

Unknown said...

I would love a Part II of this if you have it in you. You've no idea what it's done for me already. I needed to read this. Today.

Thank you Reya. Again and again.

Tom said...

i'm starting to think you are a little bit interdimensional...
as for opening my mind up to guiding spirits, i feel i'm a bit too gullible for that, or maybe just afraid.
Neat post, and the shadow sculpture is very cool.

Mrsupole said...

Hi Reya,

I was just wondering if you have checked into the spirit guides that Native Americans have talked about throughout their history. I sometimes think that this is why they were so attuned to nature and only took from the land what was necessary. Although I think that some tribes listened to the wrong spirit guides and were agressive and violent in their ways, the majority of them were peaceful and giving.

Some people have said because I am part Native American, that this is why I am so in touch with ghostly spirits. It is the same with them in that if you have a evil spirit around you that you have to forcefully tell them to leave. They usually do. My spirit guides have predicted many things over the years, I then pass this on to the person and if they listen all comes out well, it is when they refuse to listen, that what was predicted to happen by not listening always does. It is not always a pretty outcome.

I have printed a copy of Grandpa's advice so as to always keep it nearby.

Please ask Grandpa if he would be willing to share any other advice with us. It seems we can never get too much. And please thank him again for this. Tell him I love him for doing this.

God bless.

Reya Mellicker said...

Tom - Who among us ISN'T interdimensional? Especially those of us involved in these internet social networks. We weave in and out of thin air, form relationships that are "real" even though we've never seen each other.

I'm not a fanatic in any way and do not believe that people "need" to have relationships with their guides. You can live a long and happy life without ever making contact. People asked, so that's why I posted about the guides.

Mrsupole, Grandpa is Haida. Initially I thought he was Asian, but when I saw photos of Haida taken at the turn of the 20th century, I realized he was of that tribe. Another one of my guides who helps me with healing is Seneca Indian. It's pretty common to work with Indians. They want so much to help us and they "belong" to this land (the U.S.) Makes sense to me that they seek us out.

Grandpa is excited that his advice has been so well received. None of my other guides want to be in the spotlight, but Grandpa is a character. He is.

Bee said...

This is fascinating, Reya. I have been completely immersed in family research for the past couple of days, and somehow the idea of the past and present being all mixed up together makes a lot of sense to me.

I'm curious about the astrological information, too.

Nancy said...

This was a wonderful post, Reya. You are a spiritual teacher, and we are drawn to you for a reason. Many of us know what you are talking about, and believe it, but need reassurance and guidance.

Everything for a reason - now is the time we must do what we can to bring about peace and love. The world is in desperate need.

Anonymous said...

Spot on Reya.Pure in its authenticity - generous, warm and factual in its sharing -You do this area proud."They'd" be patting you on the back for this. xx*hug*

debra said...

I have experienced many interesting things since I was a small child. I have always picked up people's feelings by intuition and by the smell. Learning to protect myself has been an ongoing process.
After my father died last summer, her came to me and told me that he is happy. My mother has come as well. I can tell by her smell.
We have had the smell of cigarettes in out house. No one smokes. We just say, "If you are not here for our greater goo, please leave." It does---sometimes after several requests.
I think that there is so much available to us if we are able to receive.
Thanks for this timely post, Reya.

Ronda Laveen said...

These Cosmic Beings of Light are here in service to God(dess). As we are part of God(dess), they are here to serve us also. To help with wisdom, guidance, healing, and information.They are known in all culters, religions, and civilizations, young and old.

I think it important to note that there is Free Will. We choose our own course and destiny. No one, not even these beings have control over us. Ask, and they will help. Banish, and they will leave.

Reya Mellicker said...

Thanks Ronda, for invoking free will. I meant to convey that - that the guides may NOT command us. Often I wish I had listened to my guides, but sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

Lover of Life, thank you. Your daughter has visited here and I've visited her blog. So cool to have a two-generation hook up here.

Bee - I'll write you about the "story" of astrology.

In fact, Pam, Grandpa has been patting me on the back. How did you know?

Barbara Martin said...

I knew there was something interesting about you, Reya. Often I have brief contact with angels who will impart wisdom with a few choice words that mean only what is said. Once when I had asked when things would get better, I was told telepathically: "Kind thoughts. Have patience." From this I learned that thoughts or spoken words change vibrational frequencies around us and others, thus setting off a pattern that materializes in different ways.

I have been fortunate not to have had any negative entities around or a few human psychic vampires who drain your energy for the shear thrill of it.

An acquaintance shut down her blog due to telepathic interference where her energy was being sucked into it and she was lethargic and suffered from fibromyalgia.

Whenever I want help with something I mentally ask my guardian angel, and within a week or so I have my answer. I have even received help during my writing, to pick the appropriate phrases to fit.

Great post, Reya.

Gary said...

Reya - As I read this I kept thinking of my niece Samantha because she speaks so clearly at only 5 (younger when it began) of so many of the things you wrote about. Opening yourself up, asking the name, etc. Wow!

I always have my best ideas in the shower. I noted this to myself but figured it was just me. Interesting to think that there is actually something to it.

I have had contact with my spirit guides. Thankfully there has never been one that I have felt the need to send away. I don't think I would like that experience.

BTW - I mention you in tomorrow's post...

Lori ann said...

Thank you Reya for this post. I think it's one of my favorites. After the birth of my last child I felt a strong need to find or connect with my spirit guide(or to find out what that was), a friend gave me a book that helped me on this journey. That was almost 18 years ago, and since then and now I don't think i've ever heard another person talk about this(excluding the book) except you. You are a guide for so many, including me.
The book that I love, and still have is called Spirit Healing, Native American Magic & Medicine by Mary Dean Atwood. One of my guides is my Grandfather James, passed away 28 years ago. He was half Navajo.

Anonymous said...

Ha!Ha! Reya - for the same reason that I knew you were spot on!

Gary said...

Forget about what I said about spirit guides I have needed to send away. I think they were active in my bad dreams last night.

A Cuban In London said...

After reading your post a couple of times, here's my thoughts:

Our brain is so immense that we're using only, hang on, wait for it, a 0.9 % of it, or thereabouts. So, phenomena like the one that befell you in your 20s are not unusual. The same has happened to many people. It's always puzzled me why we're focusing so much on outer space when inside our heads we have a more vast territory to conquer. Your article was very insightful and your two links to the Telegraph and the New Yorker were most useful. Many thanks. And yes, your new haircut is brilliant, sorry, I forgot to comment the other day. It highlights your grey hair, which I always think it's an added value.

Greetings from London.

karen said...

Thanks for this and the previous post - extremely thought provoking. Grandpa's advice is brilliant...You're definitely an amazing teacher, Reya x

Steve Reed said...

This makes me think: "suggestions that often come in the form of riddles or puzzles that you have to work out." Hmmm....

Love the bit about cross-species sex! LOL!

Beautiful tulip photo.

C.M. Jackson said...


this all seemed so familiar as I read your post--thank you for your lovely writing and photos


lettuce said...

i have this sort of insight and guidance most often when i'm walking

tho i shall listen more carefully from now on when in the shower