It's All Grist for the Mill

I've been thinking about karma ever since a fascinating conversation over dinner with friends earlier this week. I "believe" in karma, whatever that means. I believe that on the most simplistic level, what we send out will return to us, whether that's generosity or compassion, or on the other side of the karmic spectrum, ill will towards others or self loathing, you know.

In my heart of hearts I think karma is far more complicated than the Law of Return. I'm not sure it's as mathematical or balanced as we imagine. We humans love to have all our t's crossed and i's dotted, though the multiverse, as I experience it, is not so neat and tidy.

According to the cosmology (or semantics) of Reya, destiny is something that transcends, in a very extensive way, this particular lifetime. Destiny seems to me to be quite ephemeral, etheric. Karma on the other hand, feels visceral, grounded - or maybe focused is a better word - to the circumstances of our individual lifetimes. I think that's why we work through so much karma while alive, why we're so mindful of our actions and have so many rules and ideas about how to behave. Destiny is participatory, but you can't hold it in your hand. But we can - and do - sculpt karma every day, all the time.

I've been thinking about everyday crises in terms of karma, that when we get a cold, or cut a finger while cooking, or have a little argument with someone we love, that in healing each of these everyday crises we are working through some little karmic tangent. I really like this idea, that even by sweeping the floor or tending the garden we are contributing to the evolution of personal karma.

Perhaps I'm desperate to believe that every event, no matter how insignificant, means something because I'm getting older and am more aware every day of the preciousness of this existence. Or maybe I'm on to something. The karma of everyday crises is not glamorous or dramatic, but I think these little scraps and scrapes help us evolve, bit by bit.

It's time now to walk the old dog, clearing a small thread of animal karma, then do laundry, which perhaps helps purge some small karmic stain on my soul. And on and on, through this life of extraordinary, ordinary days. L'chaim!

It Could Be Worse

The gloom persists over Washington DC, but believe it or not, I don't feel like complaining. Sunday and yesterday, the sound of the rain provided the most sublime backdrop for my work. A beautiful sunny couple of days might have brought up in me a sense that I should be outside rather than working, but there was none of that.

This morning, because it's still cool and gloomy out there, I'm going to sit right here on my couch, read blogs and drink coffee. I can't imagine a more relaxing way to spend a couple of hours. Can you?

Pout

My father used to say self pity is the most sincere of human emotions. Wow. That says a lot about him, doesn't it? What I've wondered for many years, but am unable to ask him (since he passed away so long ago) is: what emotion isn't sincere? There are lots of insincere behaviors, but emotion? It is by its very nature always sincere. My poor father - he was so miserable.

Though ordinarily I tilt towards gratitude and cheerfulness, I have my moments when I think "Why me?" or "This is SO unfair." Who doesn't? I am generally snapped out of these moments almost instantaneously. I'll be walking down the street, for instance, bemoaning something or another and then right in front me I'll notice someone walking with crutches or in a wheelchair or in some other way physically compromised. It's as if God or the multiverse or however you look at it is urging me to waste as little time as possible in a Woe-Is-Me frame of reference. Life is short, after all.

My practice at these moments is to turn on a dime, to stop right then and give thanks for my excellent health and for the fact that physically I am in fine shape for a woman of my age. I could be in better shape (who couldn't?) but boy could I be in worse shape. Wow.

All that said, I'm sporting a pout today since I was supposed to be traveling to Florida tomorrow to hang out with one dear old friend and one brand new friend. The original plan had to be scrapped. Now it seems I will have to wait until October. Hence the pouting.

Isn't emotional intelligence about the capacity to deal gracefully with situations in which instant gratification isn't possible? Oops. Not exhibiting emotional intelligence today. Oh well.

I'll live. The days and weeks will pass quickly. October will come and I'll head down to hang out with these dear ones. And all will be well. Life is good and I am grateful, oh yeah!


Cool old drawing of the Capitol, framed and hanging in the bathroom at Teaism by the White House. I love the half-finished Washington Monument.

This math is beyond me.

If Gloom (G) = dark overcast, and Doom (D) = the bitter cold of a wet day in the winter, and Precipitation (P) includes every kind of cloud-borne water, then

G x (azaleas + iris + plush spring green) + P - D = What??

I can't describe today as a day of Gloom and Doom, though it's tempting to try to make those words fit. It's not a non-day because there are too many things blooming out there (non-days are, by their very nature, colorless). It's not a rainy day even though some water is falling from the sky. It's not exactly spitting rain, it's not exactly drizzling, it definitely isn't raining.

It's neither hot nor cold, neither dryish nor muggy, but colorful - wildly so. So. What is it? Don't ask me!

How Reya Got Her Groove Back

Life is full of surprises. And though I believe that in some metaphorical way all the "dots" are connected in a big complex pattern, in practice I think that no one, not even Garrett Lisi can knit life's unexpected junctures (and disjunctures) into a unified, explainable theory of everything.

Though some surprises are not as fun as others, I prefer a world that's mostly mysterious, I prefer a life in which every time I turn a corner I'm greeted by something I didn't expect. I love learning things I don't already know. I like the internal seismic vibration of HUH? that accompanies new revelations. You know that A-Ha! feeling? It's invigorating - well, at least for me.

Included in this past week's surprise gifts are a whole bunch of small - but significant - soul retrievals. I'm regaining my narrative of trust in other people, something I haven't felt in a number of years. It's no surprise that the personal betrayal I experienced at the end of my last romance took it's toll. It was a love triangle in which I lost my partner, one of my best friends, my house and the life I'd lived for years. The emotional damage was extensive, whew! What a great surprise to understand that I can heal even from something as awful as that! Took awhile and a whole lot of work, but I'm almost there. With the help of very old friends, I'm about to get over the last of it. Oh yeah!

Cheers to the human heart! Bravo to old friends whom I trust, with whom I feel "safe" enough to be as uncool I really am. Bravo!! And thanks.

Before and After the First 100 Days

The White House, yesterday.

Part of typical Homo sapiens behavior, (because we are social predators), is to follow our Alpha pack leader. And so we do - most of us anyway. We follow or we challenge, just like all social predator species. By following, in this culture at least, what I mean is we dance in shamanic alignment with the way our Alpha thinks. It's so interesting to observe.

That's why I'm glad - and relieved - that Barack Obama is our president. Except for those who challenge him (and challenging is an important part of our pack behavior, so I'm not knocking it!) it seems that as a nation, we have become a lot more analytical since January 20th. We are looking carefully at things like financial institutions, we are beginning to "get" all the reasons why diplomacy is better than military might, we are opening our eyes to very difficult issues such as our recent history of torture. We are turning around on various topics like gay marriage.

Well done, America!

Under Bush, it seemed like we were zoned out, disconnected, oblivious, as if we had collectively choked on a pretzel and passed out on the floor of the Oval Office. Of course there's still plenty of that, of course. But, I overhear so much more thoughtful discourse in restaurants, for instance. I hear reporters asking smarter questions at news conferences, people seem (to my eye at least) more awake.

President Obama is not perfect. I have a few minor quarrels with his policies, but - whoa! - I am so happy to have him as my Alpha. God bless America!


Remember the gnarly tree in Lafayette Square that I photographed in March? This is what it looked like yesterday! Life springs eternal, even from the gnarliest trunk. Yeah!

Blog Award Oblige

I love all the awards circulating through the blog realm. I love it that we recognize each other and appreciate each other so much that we are compelled to bestow these awards. There are so many of them! I am deeply honored to have been the recipient of so many. THANK YOU!!

Have you noticed, though, that every one of these awards has strings attached? It might be more accurate to call them blog grants rather than awards, since in order to accept them, allegedly the receiver must fulfill a number of requirements that vary from prize to prize.

Most awards require the receiver to pass them along to other bloggers. I love that rule, even though I'm not able to do it in any specific way. Look at my blog list - how in the world could I choose only five blogs to confer any of these prizes upon? There are other blogs I also read that I just haven't gotten around to adding to the list ... so you see to choose only five bloggers would be, for me, like choosing the five prettiest stars in the sky or something. I can't do it!

The Award of Noblesse Oblige is the most intense of all the prizes I've received. Please understand I am honored, I really am, in particular because it was the luminous, marvelous, profoundly compassionate Val of Monkeys on the Roof who gave me the award. Her blog, which describes her life in Botswana, has widened my horizons in ways I could not have imagined. She brings her readers into intimate contact with her world, so up close and personal that I think I can hear the monkeys on the roof, I can almost imagine the group of giraffes at the bottom of the driveway, the warhogs scampering by, or the porcupine in the kitchen. She even made it possible for me to imagine elephant flatulence! Wow!! Isn't that cool?

I could write a post about every blog on my blogroll, explaining what it is about each one that delights, entertains and informs. They're all GREAT blogs, every one of them. I feel a kinship with each individual on the list, even though I've never met most of them. The ones I have met have become true friends. I feel so lucky every time I think about it.

I could write about how blogging has opened my mind, helped me remember that the U.S. truly is not the center of the universe. Hello! I could tell you how much I love being reminded that it's not only late spring but also late fall, depending on where you live on Earth. I could relate how, for the first time in my life, I was actually invested in the South African presidential election, or how I felt truly relieved to learn that the rains finally arrived in Tanzania, in Australia, too (gosh!), how I saw the most beautiful photos of Texas bluebonnet flowers on several blogs (something that helped me understand what a big deal that bloom is for Texans), etc. etc. I wouldn't know about any of this if I didn't have blog friends who live in those places, who are generous enough, articulate enough, and willing to artfully share their lives on their blogs. Thank you! Blogging is orienting, humanizing, socializing, in a global way.

I could write volumes about what I think blogging is doing, i.e. creating a planetary neural network for artists in preparation for the next evolutionary leap. In fact I have written about this numerous times. I could go on and on. And on. I could!

Blogging is a literary and artistic gallery space and social network unlike anything that has ever existed. And that's why I'm here.

OK do you think this is enough? What I'm asking is, by writing this post, have I fulfilled my obligation?