Splash

In honor of National Poetry day ... thanks B.K.! What a poem.

Landscape With The Fall Of Icarus

According to Brueghel
when Icarus fell
it was spring

a farmer was ploughing
his field
the whole pageantry

of the year was
awake tingling
near

the edge of the sea
concerned
with itself

sweating in the sun
that melted
the wings' wax

unsignificantly
off the coast
there was

a splash quite unnoticed
this was
Icarus drowning

--William Carlos Williams

Mistakes are Made ... oh yeah

I am just now getting used to seeing my reflection without Jake at my side.

Based on yesterday's thoughts, here's a list of seven virtues according to the cosmology of Reya. (These are behavioral and attitudinal, most effective when applied to the self as well as to others):

1. Respect
2. Humor
3. Generosity
4. Kindness
5. Forgiveness
6. Curiosity
7. Gratitude

What a stainless, smooth, guilt-free life it would be if I could always, in every situation, embody these qualities. I am not always true to my personal ideas of virtue. In some situations, I behave in a distinctly non-virtuous manner, oh yeah. I have a temperament of excess in many ways which rules out the classical virtues. Chastity? Temperance? Whoa ... these are not qualities I can relate to in any way. I set the bar perhaps a bit lower - making respect the bottom line. But I can't even muster respect sometimes.

I try not to berate myself too much when I figure out I've been disrespectful, stingy, greedy or thankless. I believe we humans are built to "make mistakes" as well as to behave beautifully. If we don't trip and fall every now and then, how will we ever learn to stand up again? If we don't suffer some indignities, if we are never wounded, how can we learn to heal?

In fact there are some situations in which transgressions into bad behavior act as a catalyst that breaks up stuckness, that actually helps awaken all the parties involved, which can lead to the more fully lived life. "Mistakes" can be so enlivening. I've seen it happen again and again, as the eventual result of my own mistakes and transgressions.

My list of sins includes qualities that keep me from evolving, also from gathering wisdom (always hard-won if you ask me) from the technicolor experience of being human. Here's my list of sins:

1. Guilt
2. Codependence
3. Blame
4. Revenge
5. Compulsiveness
6. Paralysis of Opinion and Behavior
7. Apathy

We humans try so hard to be good, to do everything "right" - whatever that means. Our expectations of ourselves are ridiculous. When we fail in our idealistic attempts at perfection, we expend a whole lot of energy punishing ourselves and others. Many times we exhaust ourselves with guilt and blame, for instance, leaving no energy to actually learn anything from our experiences.

The one thing I believe separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is our tendency to second guess ourselves. In our hearts we are each of us so good, we mean so well. And yeah, we make mistakes. So what? We're not the first people to make mistakes, nor by any means will we be the last. Mea culpa. Onwards & upwards. Shalom.

I confess!

I'm thinking about the seven deadly sins this morning. Well, not all of them (though I definitely have suffered from all of them at one time or another). Should also say that in Hebrew, the word for "sin" means "miss the mark." So - I'm not thinking I'm doomed. My thoughts are more about what works and what doesn't.

Today's featured deadly sin is greed. Oh yeah. There are somewhat noble forms of greed I suffer from, like the greed for understanding: of the world, God, my fellow humans, etc. Actually these forms might be more about pride than greed, but whatever you want to call it, it's not the most heinous sin, eh?

Less noble, but still rather innocent (according to the cosmology of Reya) is simple greed. For instance, I want an ipad. I really do. I don't need an ipad. But I want one. I'm talking here simple greed for stuff.

The worst kind of greed involves wanting something that, if attained, would cause harm or suffering for others. I think of my feelings for Prince Charming as a great example. Once upon a time, long ago, Prince Charming was my boyfriend. I stupidly moved away from the city where we both lived at the time, relegating our passionate love to long distance friendship. What was I thinking? Oh yeah I was young, immature, fearful. Oh yeah.

Prince Charming is suave. He is debonaire. He has a great voice, looks fabulous in his incredibly beautiful clothes. He is smart, funny, sexy, manly - yet sensitive. Oh man. He works in the food/drink business, so whenever he visits DC, we are wined and dined by restaurant and bar owners as if we were royalty. I'm Cinderella in my glass slippers when he's visiting. When he goes home to New York, my coach turns back into a pumpkin, and I become a gray haired, middle aged lady again. Le sigh! He is also a very happily married man, hence my feelings of greed about him fit more into the heinously off-the-mark category of greed. Or maybe lust is a better category of sin for this particular attachment. Ya think?

Over the years I've figured out ways to manage my feelings of greed for Prince Charming, a Very Good Thing! You see, I think the seven deadly sins as well as the seven virtues, and many other qualities, too, are a part of being human. Both the "good" and "bad" qualities are there to help us become more fully realized, more compassionate. All of them offer us juicy opportunities to become more ethical.

Sins and virtues are grist for the mill, the stuff of our complicated humanity. When I'm doing or feeling something that misses the mark, eventually I need to adjust, make changes so as to not cause more harm than necessary. Of course, figuring out how much harm is necessary is a whole other kettle of fish, yes? I say yes.

I think about things like this all the time. What do you think?

Bringing in the Sheaves

Everyone is a shaman. It's true. We all move and dance to the visible and invisible rhythms of the world. We all sense and react to the flows of energy, to the eddies and currents - and sometimes the riptides - of this crazy river of energy in which we live.

How else do you explain the phenomena of everyone rushing to to the cash registers at the supermarket all at the same time? I watched the rushes of people when I worked for Whole Foods - there was no correlation to time of day, nope. It was all about the energy.

Some days, everyone is cranky. I hear horns honking, people yelling at each other. Other days people smile and make way for one another. You know that experience of walking into a room and knowing, instantly, what's going on? I bet you do! I know it isn't conscious for many, but I pay attention to these things. We all feel energy, even if we don't admit it.

Autumn is traditionally the time of the harvest. (Thanks to Dan Gurney for explaining that fall is the most generous season. It sure is, Dan.) Not so long ago, stretching back in time literally for thousands of years, fall was the time when our species was extra busy, bringing in the fruits of the field. We depended on this busy time for survival - literally.

Though no longer a time when we have to be busy, (unless you're a farmer), the truth is that even we urban folks get extra busy in October. I think we are dancing in shamanic alignment with the season and with the long-held habits of our species, consciously or unconsciously. I know that my month of October is frantic with social engagements, big weeks of work, visiting with out of towners and such. All of that activity builds through the month to the final weekend that includes the Rally to Restore Sanity followed by the insanity of Halloween on the street where I live.

Whew!!

Wow ... or should I say Whoa??

Do you remember your dreams? I do, as best I can, that is. Sometimes weeks will slide by during which I can't remember even a snip of my dreams. But then something shifts and suddenly I can bring them up through all the layers of un- and sub-consciousness, into my frontal cortex.

I love my dreams. They are very weird, even the recurring dreams that I know so well I am lucid within them. Have you ever had a dream in which you thought, Oh god. It's THAT dream again? Happens to me all the time.

In October, in addition to the surreal, technicolor dreamscape, I do a whole lot of talking to the ancestors while I sleep (also while I'm awake, should say). According to a lot of traditions, October is a time when the veil between the living and dead thins. By Halloween it is so thin that the dead walk among us, barely distinguishable from the living. That's why we hand out candy on Halloween - because you never know who you're dealing with on that very powerful day.

Halloween on East Capitol Street is a Really Big Deal. In fact the neighbors are scaring me, telling me, for instance, that they spend $300 on candy, all of which they hand out before 9:00 pm on Halloween. People here on E. Capitol hire folks to pass candy since one treat dispenser is not nearly enough to keep up with the demand. They say there's no time to admire costumes, they don't even bother to wait for the doorbell to ring; they stand out in their front yards or on their porches, with bushels of candy at the ready. Halloween on East Capitol is hard work!

Sasha and Malia trick or treat here, they say. LOTS of people come from other neighborhoods. One of my neighbors said that, just for kicks, he decided to count the number of trick or treaters last year. The count was 1,500. Yikes!!

Living on East Capitol is a responsibility; it is a public thoroughfare, such a different vibe from Tennessee Avenue where we had some, but not too many, trick or treaters, mostly the neighborhood kids.

In fact I've applied for, and been granted, asylum at the house on Tennessee Avenue for Halloween. We will close the pocket door so that no lights are visible from the street, sit in the back of the house and drink martinis, hunker down with the dogs until the hubbub dies down.

I love living on East Capitol but I'm still a rookie, hence not yet up to the challenge of Halloween. I will definitely take pics, though. After 10 pm I'll sneak home, light some candles and whisper to my ancestors, so as to not draw the attention of late night trick or treaters.

At least, that's my plan.

A Poignant Melancholy

Ah Fall. Welcome. The drakes flew through the midatlantic on the last day of September, sweeping up the last vestiges of summer, making space for the sweet, gold, crisp, sad beauty of autumn. Yay!! It's so chilly this morning that I had to close my windows and turn on the heat for the first time here at the chateau. I believe tonight I'll light my first fire in the chateau 'fireplace.'

It won't surprise anyone to learn that I have developed more than a few theories about why the dance of shamanic alignment with this season involves feelings of sweet melancholy. The declining light is a major contributing factor, of course. My guess is that the chill in the air and the earlier sunsets trigger an instinctual emotional reaction. Ya think?

Autumnal daylight is so clear. It inspires, brings into my heart many feelings of awe. Brother Sun shines so delicately in fall. His light is so sweet now, such a pale gold, tinged with blue. (At the end of summer, Brother Sun beats down on us with harsh orange heat and light, producing in me at least such different feelings!)

Getting in touch with awe is a beautiful thing. When I'm in awe - for whatever reason - I feel simple, do you know what I mean? When I'm in awe, the love I feel for family and friends, for this precious existence, is as clear and tangible as the clear blue/gold air. My heart overflows with gratitude on days like today, washing away all the inner dialogues of this and that. I feel quiet inside - simple. Such a delicious feeling.

We'll have some more warm days in DC. It doesn't really cool off completely until November, doesn't actually get what a midwesterner like myself thinks of as cold until Christmas. In the meantime, the leaves will turn slowly (fall lasts for months here in DC), the light will diminish while I will curl up with a book, cook stews and soups, play the bass and purify my heart with the blue-gold light.

Man. I love fall! Oh yeah.

I love dragons

When it rains, it pours. At least it did yesterday - something like 6 or 7 inches of rain arrived during a thirty-six hour period. Wow. It was a thick, hot rain, fueled (or so the weather people said) by moisture from the Atlantic AND the Pacific, from the remnants of tropical storm Nicole, and from a front moving through. It was a quadruple whammy, it really was.

There was a tornado (in southern Maryland), severe thunderstorms, severe wind. In the midst of all the craziness yesterday morning, mysterious smoke began pouring up out of the manholes on H Street NE here in the District.

My, my.

Over-the-top weather like that means - to me - that dragons are about. I've written about dragons here before, so I won't go way into it. Briefly: I think dragons are forces of nature that somehow organize themselves, becoming greater than a sum of their parts. Big earthquakes mark the presence of earth dragons, hurricanes are a hybrid of water and air dragons, volcanic eruptions and thunderstorms are fire dragons.

If you're thinking, OMG Reya is such a nut case, well, you're probably right. Still, when I see eyebrows raising, eyeballs rolling around when I talk about dragons, I always ask people to look at this picture, an aerial view of the coast of Sri Lanka, taken just after the 2004 tsunami hit. You can very clearly see the water dragon in the picture. Its head is turned out to sea. You can even see scales - incredible capture. Yeah, I might be a few chips short of a fish dinner, but I'm not the first person to have a relationship with dragons, yes? C'mon. In many cultures around the earth throughout history people have known about dragons. It isn't just me.

Yesterday the drakes were out in force here on the east coast, above and below us. Whew, what a day! I love dragons, but I also respect their power and wildness. Hence I stayed indoors most of the day, cleaning house and making salmon curry for friends who came for dinner last night. And now, all of sudden, it's October. It's almost chilly out there, just like that. Snap.

Thanks my dragon friends, for whipping through and taking the last vestiges of summer up up and away! I'm so ready for October. Voila!