When Overly Nostalgic, I Turn to Pema for Advice

"When you open yourself to the continually changing, impermanent, dynamic nature of your own being and of reality, you increase your capacity to love and care about other people and your capacity to not be afraid. You're able to keep your eyes open, your heart open, and your mind open. And you notice when you get caught up in prejudice, bias, and aggression. You develop an enthusiasm for no longer watering those negative seeds, from now until the day you die. And, you begin to think of your life as offering endless opportunities to start to do things differently."

— Pema Chödrön (Practicing Peace in Times of War)

Nostalgiac

I've been feeling mighty nostalgic lately, which is par for the course during autumn.

I guess.

Been thinking fondly about Jake, remembering some of his adorable behaviors from a few years ago, from the time before he got so old and sick. In my dreams, I have been visiting my San Francisco life, before my involvement in Reclaiming, also before I became involved with my ex-husband. Those really were the good old days. Oh man. Can y'all hear the tiny violins playing? I can. I really can. I literally can, since at that time I worked for the San Francisco Symphony. It was a great job.

And though in order to be truly mindful, I'm not supposed to include the past in the now, especially when I'm feeling regretful or nostalgic, it's always there, moment to moment. If we don't learn from history, we are bound to repeat our mistakes. Who said that originally? Some very smart person, I think.

The past has brought me into the present in no uncertain terms, so why would I ever exclude it? Similarly, dreaming and planning for the future keeps me from stalling out in the now, guides me forwards, signals my consciousness to scan for people and situations that can help me become what I wish to be. Thinking about the future keeps me oriented along the path followed by the arrow of time. I like to include the future, too, in my present moment.

Clearly my present moment is a complex montage of all that was and all that could be, though it includes the now as well. I know, I know ... I'm definitely NOT a Buddhist. Oh well. Back to my nostalgia ....

Deluge

That's me in the purple.

DELUGE

1 a : an overflowing of the land by water b : a drenching rain
2 : an overwhelming amount or number, i.e. received a deluge of offers

I think the rain has stopped at last. I know California and other locations have had much more rain than we did, but wow. We got plenty. Usually the way it rains here is by way of a series of showers or downpours with breaks between. But not since Thursday. It rained non stop, 24/7. It was a steady rain, light to medium serious, more like the way I remember Pacific Northwest rains than midatlantic.

In a way the deluge was kind of fun, at least for me. Please remember that I have no commute whatsoever, and that I know how to dress for the weather. My sneakers are waterproof, I have the world's most giganto umbrella, and, too - I'm not afraid of rain. It is, after all, just water. So I can afford to be generous.


Steve at Lafayette Park.

H2O was only one aspect of the deluge of recent days. I've been busy, at work yes and also away from work. Every year as fall progresses, I inevitably get busier, swept up in a deluge of activity. I've wondered if autumnal busy-ness is simply my way of dancing in shamanic alignment with the energy of the harvest. The fall harvest season was a very busy time for our species back when we lived in agrarian societies, so I figure the tendency towards busy-ness must be encoded somewhere in my DNA. Go with the flow.

Today the rain stopped, though a thick and wintery-feeling overcast hung low over the capital all day. Towards dusk, the clouds began to pull themselves apart. Whoa. When I haven't seen the sky in a few days, the first glimpse of blue is almost shocking in its simple beauty.

We in DC are well quenched, and ready for some sunlight. But it honestly has been fun having you here for a visit, Brother Rain. Hope you're headed for some places around the planet that need you, eh? Well? Why not? Just sayin.

Secret Societies

As any urban dog owner will tell you, when you have a dog, a brand new societal world opens up, the subculture of other dog owners. For many years, I lived in that subculture, not only when I was walking Jake, but at other times as well. In some way I can't explain, the rhythms of my whole life aligned with those of other dog owners. I was part of dog owner society. By virtue of having Jake, I belonged.

When Jake died, that society vanished. I see people with their dogs, but it is not the same. I'm no longer one of them; a veil has dropped between myself and dog owner society. I live in a different reality now.

There are a number of societal subsets hidden beneath the veneer of Capitol Hill culture. Moms with young children have have created a very powerful society of their own. In fact they are quite organized. They call themselves "Moms on the Hill." MOTH is a formidable group you don't want to cross, a maternal mafia that kicks ass and takes names. It was MOTH that got the city of DC to investigate the lead levels in our tap water. Wow. They are powerful.

I remember when gay society was localized to specific neighborhoods, restaurants and clubs. Now that it isn't such a stigma to be gay (I credit the old TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy with finally bringing homosexuality into the mainstream) the substrata of gay society isn't as separate as it once was.

Here in the blog world, there are many subcultures. Knitters, cooks, poets, photographers, etc. I could go on and on and on.

I miss being part of dog owner society. That was such a nice, non-formal and friendly crowd to hang with. I miss Jake - though - on this dark gray chilly rainy morning, I must admit, I don't miss walking Jake. I really don't. My bad?

Happy Saturday, y'all.

Blog Inaction Day, Part II

Busy work day, followed by dinner with one of my beloveds. I've got things to write about, but no time to write them down here, such as: hope I didn't sound pessimistic yesterday. Also I'm wondering why in the world my psychic downloads of the past year all relate to soul retrieval, since as a shaman I am not the fighting type, and soul retrievals always involve battles in creepy underworld scenarios. I'm a lover, not a fighter, a healer, not a warrior. I like the middle world better than the upper and lower worlds. I can't even play the drum!!

So why all this information? Any theories?

I'm off. Happy friday, y'all!

Blog Inaction Day

This probably is not the right blog to visit today, because this is Blog Action Day. Many bloggers are posting about climate change - they are so good! You could start with Mouse Medicine (link on my list of Blogfellows) and move on from there.

Please understand: I TOTALLY SUPPORT ACTIVISM! The fact that we are still allowed, to one extent or another, to express our political beliefs is one of the reasons I am proud to be a citizen of the U.S. The thing is, I am not an activist. I'm an inactivist. Is there such a thing?

The older I get, the less certain I become about large societal situations. I'm unclear that there are simple solutions for complex problems. We tend to think we can fix things, but historically fixes bring with them terrible side effects. It has always been that way, why should I think that we know better about anything?

Yesterday, the Senate Finance Committe passed the bill for health care reform, a bill that says all Americans must have health insurance. We must ALL make the insurance companies richer. Allegedly, anyone who does not buy health insurance will have to pay a penalty. Huh?? Insurance companies lie at the foundation of our problems with health care, but now we all have to give them our money? What is up with that? And ... just how will this be enforced? That is total craziness, if you ask me.

As far as climate change is concerned, well, this planet periodically heats up and cools down, and has been doing so since long before we were here. So in a sense, climate change is normal behavior for our beautiful planet. If the climate warms dramatically enough to kill off most of the species currently alive, then - hmmm - too bad for our species, but mass extinctions are also a part of normal behavior for our planet.

That said, I believe we (in my society) have become weak and indulgent, wasteful, thoughtless, mindless. In a perfect world, we would realize that the resources of the earth cannot support the way we live. We would give up our cars, avoid travel by air, stop eating so much junk meat, eschew packaging whenever possible and stop buying stuff we don't need. If I were in charge, I would propose a gentle strategy of less, followed by a period of waiting, and noticing how the change in behavior affects the environment. My ideas are diametrically opposed to activism. In my mind at least.

I expect that, because of our societal expectations of excess, it'll take a big ole crisis before we stop. But I don't want to get cynical here. We might change before everything goes to hell. Maybe.

Is this a blog action post? You tell me.

All Things Must Pass Away

I think we're going to experience a serious fall day today in Washington DC. I'm kind of excited to think that, for the first time since early spring, I will need to wear a jacket when I go out. I might even wrap my neck with a scarf. Very cool (using that word on several levels).

A nice cold snap brings to an end the autumn allergy season - oh yeah - and also signals the beginning of the end of the mosquitoes. I am never sad to see the end of insect season, oh no.

Meanwhile the days grow shorter and the Dead are wandering, wandering, as they do at this time of year. Life, despite its dramas and inevitable suffering, is such a precious existence. Even those who are free of it still long, in some way, for the festival of the five senses, for flesh and blood, and all carnal delights.

Today I will build my ancestor altar, light candles and gaze into the photographs of all those people who lived their lives, wrapped things up and moved back behind the veil. Then I'm going to spend some time offering prayers of thanks for my lucky life, prayers of appreciation for being right here, right now. Life is good and I am grateful!


How sweet to honor the passing of the dodo.