tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post3388136459141945951..comments2023-10-11T03:49:53.934-04:00Comments on The Gold Puppy: Pre-GriefReya Mellickerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-80040810439359166672009-06-22T14:32:36.156-04:002009-06-22T14:32:36.156-04:00hugs to you and jake....
pre-grieving - definitel...hugs to you and jake....<br /><br />pre-grieving - definitely a stage but maybe one unexplored in the literature<br /><br />more hugsmouse (aka kimy)https://www.blogger.com/profile/09385557065971602436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-73229657371470710482009-06-22T14:06:13.103-04:002009-06-22T14:06:13.103-04:00Hi Reya, I absolutely believe there is such a thi...Hi Reya, I absolutely believe there is such a thing as pre-grieving. We have nearly lost our beloved cat Gilbert to urinary and bowel blockages a number of times (but we've always pulled him through). I know one day it will be the last time and he won't make it. I always think in terms of what if we wake up and he's downstairs (he won't come on the bed if he's feeling ill) and he's gone? I try to pre-grieve, just to make the actual event a little more bearable. I'll say a prayer that the final transition for both of you is not a devastating one.<br /><br />KatKat Mortensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16877694888419628533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-84271256577021963542009-06-22T08:20:46.702-04:002009-06-22T08:20:46.702-04:00Pregrieving is a gift. He will not leave in an un...Pregrieving is a gift. He will not leave in an unexpected way, but your days together are coming to an end. <br />Enjoy each one that's left, Jake will.Celestitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14786165729352851549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-5442417771894426572009-06-22T07:09:37.688-04:002009-06-22T07:09:37.688-04:00Sending a hug for you, and for Jake. Hope you both...Sending a hug for you, and for Jake. Hope you both are o.k.today.xx♥Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12919764140075852854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-59340800077393803722009-06-22T05:29:31.822-04:002009-06-22T05:29:31.822-04:00Oh! Just caught up on your post of yesterday, and ...Oh! Just caught up on your post of yesterday, and today.. so glad to see that Jake feels better again. I have done my fair share of pet heartbreak, and I know what you are going through. Hugs from Africa xkarenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12694425567973843826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-72962373134333490512009-06-21T22:49:07.592-04:002009-06-21T22:49:07.592-04:00Sometimes older dogs go off their food for seeming...Sometimes older dogs go off their food for seemingly no reason.<br /><br />I have been with many dogs over the years whose time came in their 'old years' of 14 or more. You must remember all the good times you had together, and, most importantly while they are still with you do not become too emotional. They have a sixth sense that picks up immediately, and they do understand what you're thinking.<br /><br />You may have had a forewarning of something in the night, but it seems to have elapsed at Jake's exuberance in the morning. Take each day as something special between the two of you, and enjoy those days.Barbara Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00610140328527165017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-27573342931478676472009-06-21T22:05:30.626-04:002009-06-21T22:05:30.626-04:00When it was time to have Edward put down, I experi...When it was time to have Edward put down, I experienced such pre-grief. The night before, he licked the tears from my face as if to say, "It's okay."<br /><br />The companionship we experience is like nothing else - I think because it is so unconditional. (Well, except with my cats when there is tuna involved...)<br /><br />I pray that you will have a friend or friends to support you during this pre-grief, and if God doesn't answer your prayer to take Jake while he sleeps - to go with you.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06925535597025554455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-57373912718638144632009-06-21T21:06:39.710-04:002009-06-21T21:06:39.710-04:00Glad Jake had a good day. Thinking of you and Jak...Glad Jake had a good day. Thinking of you and Jake. Also, yesterday's photo of the face looked like my ultrasound photo of Abby and today's photo of the water on the manhole looks like Darth Vader to me.globaltollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17191629676958093586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-35548207305310326472009-06-21T18:02:35.396-04:002009-06-21T18:02:35.396-04:00There's anticipatory grief for sure, but it st...There's anticipatory grief for sure, but it still doesn't lessen the real thing. You may think you're prepared, but reality has its own electrical charge.Merihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07024443046207501650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-88299962725421023532009-06-21T17:12:39.326-04:002009-06-21T17:12:39.326-04:00This round of comments is so compassionate, wise a...This round of comments is so compassionate, wise and helpful - all I can say is WOW. There's so much thoughtfulness here. I'm so grateful for all these incredible contemplations of mortality and the process of grieving.<br /><br />THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. <br /><br />Wow.Reya Mellickerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-25786398051663316352009-06-21T16:40:54.942-04:002009-06-21T16:40:54.942-04:00Should read "an" extra special...Should read "an" extra special...Ronda Laveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03902846545309643023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-14151484905437228692009-06-21T16:39:44.532-04:002009-06-21T16:39:44.532-04:00All thy crying you did between 3-5 was not wasted ...All thy crying you did between 3-5 was not wasted time.Yes, I believe in pre-grief as a process of the healing. He will leave this plane, it's just a matter of time and you are starting your goodbyes now. Nothing wrong with that. <br /><br />When my last group of dogs were aging, and Jennifer turned 14 and was having bouts of ups and downs, we started preparing for here crossing. We didn't leave her much or go out of town becaue we just new she would sail and we would miss they voyage. We had 3 more pretty good years before THE DAY came. You just never know and, often, I wish I could be like animals and not have that part of the brain that worries about mortality. It seems the Solstice energy has uplifted you both. Turn that wheel and ride the spiral upward, sister. Please give Jake and extra special doggie-ssage for me tonight.Ronda Laveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03902846545309643023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-81180853224593743762009-06-21T15:59:17.178-04:002009-06-21T15:59:17.178-04:00Yay! He bounced back!
Love the collage you'...Yay! He bounced back! <br /><br />Love the collage you've made.alaine@éclectiquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14367208674281749257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-71379513152135588232009-06-21T15:45:44.325-04:002009-06-21T15:45:44.325-04:00Reya - Oh, I definitely think there is pre-grievin...Reya - Oh, I definitely think there is pre-grieving. Doesn't it seem like people who nurse loved ones through long illnesses do their hardest grieving before the death? In those cases, death can "almost" be a relief. I'm not sure if it is quite the same with a beloved animal . . . but unfortunately we have no choice but to learn and accept the lesson of "letting go."<br /><br />Still, I can't help but hope that you and Jake still have many happy days together!Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02375981493145612394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-73060911961595596882009-06-21T15:31:39.508-04:002009-06-21T15:31:39.508-04:00I'm glad he is doing better today. And don'...I'm glad he is doing better today. And don't ever think you're tears are a waste. It's my opinion that there is not such a thing pre-grief, but rather Grief itself. It is grief, but it may feel different because what you are expecting/dreading hasn't yet come to pass.<br /><br />I don't know which is worse- having to put your dog down unexpectedly and not being able to say goodbye (which was the case with my golden), or watching them slowly go? As long as he isn't suffering... Take care.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07863966078038166040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-51953053956406769202009-06-21T14:09:01.268-04:002009-06-21T14:09:01.268-04:00Thank you Reya. I've cried with you too and it...Thank you Reya. I've cried with you too and it is never a waste. Happy Solstice, indeed. Kisses for your puppy. And you too.Verily I go.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07151181025270989139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-8716480247580957252009-06-21T13:23:42.986-04:002009-06-21T13:23:42.986-04:00So sorry to hear about Jake. I hope he can hang on...So sorry to hear about Jake. I hope he can hang on for a while. We lost our 17 year old dachshund, Alexei, last September. I still think he's gonna come trotting around the corner sometimes.<br /><br />Oh, and if you've ever wanted a great painting of your pets, try this website: www.paintyourlife.com<br /><br />I sent a picture of Al to them, and they really captured his personality in painting.<br /><br />Hugs and sloppy wet kisses to Jake.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-26008057055612303952009-06-21T12:44:54.975-04:002009-06-21T12:44:54.975-04:00Such good news, Reya - I'm glad you have more ...Such good news, Reya - I'm glad you have more time to enjoy Jake.Sandra Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12052047359365369942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-58952380588347606462009-06-21T12:38:38.357-04:002009-06-21T12:38:38.357-04:00Hi Reya! Yes, there is such a thing as pre-grievi...Hi Reya! Yes, there is such a thing as pre-grieving! I did that when I found out my Winston has progressive kidney failure. My two guys are both 14 this year too, and I agree with you. I moved heaven and earth, and lots of funds around, to keep them safe and healthy their whole lives. But now, they are nearing the last stage and they've lived better lives than most humans on this earth. I think that it wasn't a waste of time for you to pre-grieve because it gives you even more perspective and strength for when that day comes. I'm just so happy to hear that he's feeling frisky today!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-92136351043093920322009-06-21T12:27:11.854-04:002009-06-21T12:27:11.854-04:00the great thing with animals is they are totally i...the great thing with animals is they are totally into whatever it is they're experiencing - if Jake's enjoying his food or the sight of the squirrel, he's doing it completly, with no reference to how he felt yesterday.<br /><br />We're not so lucky - but then, animals don't get to take gorgeous photos like the composition at the bottom of this post. So...<br /><br />Enjoy the good times as much as you can, Reya. <br /><br />best to you both.mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15912364908606799053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-77284006984493373052009-06-21T12:13:41.722-04:002009-06-21T12:13:41.722-04:00I'm glad today is not the day. And yes, pre gr...I'm glad today is not the day. And yes, pre grieving helps us when the time comes, I think.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13178290697351352495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-2417772709478819252009-06-21T12:09:13.877-04:002009-06-21T12:09:13.877-04:00Good ole Jake. I'm so glad he's feeling be...Good ole Jake. I'm so glad he's feeling better today. Animals are incredible the way they can bounce back. I know what you are going through as I've been there many times. <br />As for pre-grieving I believe it is a real thing. As far back as age 10 I have pre-grieved over my animals. One night I cried & cried about my first dog, Frisky... and the next day she left our world. I think we sense these things because we are attuned to our precious animals. Sometimes we are a bit premature in the grief, but sometimes we are right on target.<br />Good thoughts to you & Jake. As I write this Gertie is nestled behind me in the chair keeping me company & my back warm... she's got my back!<br />xxxoooCheryl Catohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13294358830518520566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-85581385912194281812009-06-21T12:08:13.689-04:002009-06-21T12:08:13.689-04:00It's painful to read about Jake and your suffe...It's painful to read about Jake and your suffering and your fear. I guess in a way, when he does go, you'll be prepared...somewhat. Going back to your previous post this week, "the Wounded Hero", I think dogs are pure,wonderful companions, loyal to a fault. There are no bad dogs, only bad owners! <br /><br />I was happy to read he's feeling better today.California Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12582691517303132274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-11611756243441022562009-06-21T12:07:31.407-04:002009-06-21T12:07:31.407-04:00oh what a relief and yes i do think you are prepar...oh what a relief and yes i do think you are preparing yourself for grief and this is natural. but it mustnt interfere with the pleasure of the time you have left together xxValhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16060531713032236270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-15574085045981444422009-06-21T12:07:22.382-04:002009-06-21T12:07:22.382-04:00The crying was not a waste of time...it has cleare...The crying was not a waste of time...it has cleared out some of the pain so you can have some sweet time with Jake. Kiss Jake often. Such soulful eyes he has.Peacheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11671369146535194549noreply@blogger.com