tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post1812975056971417946..comments2023-10-11T03:49:53.934-04:00Comments on The Gold Puppy: When Love Goes WrongReya Mellickerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-23134279590470773682009-03-05T15:15:00.000-05:002009-03-05T15:15:00.000-05:00Wow, that is quite a story, a horror to live throu...Wow, that is quite a story, a horror to live through. The photos are wonderful and forbidding.ArtSparkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04875996639432864367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-37128690161713244862009-03-05T11:26:00.000-05:002009-03-05T11:26:00.000-05:00i love your shadow photos.i like to take pictures ...i love your shadow photos.<BR/>i like to take pictures of shadows.<BR/>yours are so clear—wonderful contrast!georgia b.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15482885077943093475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-15199532568324066682009-03-05T09:46:00.000-05:002009-03-05T09:46:00.000-05:00The things we carry around with us... it's good wh...The things we carry around with us... it's good when one finally gets round to compassion for the young self though.<BR/><BR/>Came over on Bee's recommendation, so glad I did, I've been so absorbed! That first photo is wonderful, the shadows on the snow look like cloudscapes. And I really loved your photography essay too.Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09764296105901909328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-60090476422571056482009-03-05T08:11:00.000-05:002009-03-05T08:11:00.000-05:00That I could tell this story on the blog means, to...That I could tell this story on the blog means, to me, that I'm no longer ashamed, a really good thing.<BR/><BR/>The meetings were (I think, but who knows?) a way for the professor and his wife to feel close, to work through something together. I don't think they had very much to do with me.<BR/><BR/>Honestly he was quite innocent when he fell in love with me. It happened over the course of a very quiet summer during which I was working in the office and he was acting as department chair. We sat around in the afternoons, with nothing to do (no classes were in session) and talked and talked. <BR/><BR/>After the wife died, some time passed, then he re-married someone who I heard was/is wonderful.<BR/><BR/>He's retired from professing now, but still paints and maintains an office at the art museum across the street from the school. He was a great teacher in so many ways. <BR/><BR/>And in so many ways I still love him with all my heart.Reya Mellickerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-76735390481588971662009-03-05T08:04:00.000-05:002009-03-05T08:04:00.000-05:00You certainly have led an interesting life, Reya!B...You certainly have led an interesting life, Reya!<BR/><BR/>Both photos are great, but that top photo is totally FAB! I love the strong shadows this time of year. So deep. I took a strange photo the other day I have yet to post. I love your view through the lens (both camera lens and life lens!)Lynnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05875008154587045790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-48975557747586835812009-03-05T02:44:00.000-05:002009-03-05T02:44:00.000-05:00Thanks for the love story, or rather, the love gon...Thanks for the love story, or rather, the love gone wrong story. And you are right, it can go wrong in so many ways...in the blink of an eye.<BR/><BR/>Yes, what do you think the point of the meetings was to them? The visual I get is of them united and you standing alone. The wife's ultimate triumph?Ronda Laveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03902846545309643023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-49810424442253473432009-03-05T01:48:00.000-05:002009-03-05T01:48:00.000-05:00The difference in experience from a 21 year old an...The difference in experience from a 21 year old and a 33 year old person is immense. I'm with the others in thinking that it was not his first time or his last. Just be thankful you got away when you did. It is very sad when someone in power takes advantage of those they have power over. I think it happens a lot.<BR/><BR/>But....<BR/><BR/>You have moved on.<BR/>You got therapy.<BR/>You can talk about it.<BR/>You are brave to share the story.<BR/>You are painting.<BR/>You are just fine, regardless.<BR/>You recovered.<BR/>You have people that care.<BR/>You are believed.<BR/>You have people who listen.<BR/>You will love again.<BR/>You are loved.<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for this series, it is wonderful to hear all the stories. Can't wait to see the pictures.<BR/><BR/>God Bless.Mrsupolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01563854387767106508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-10940173887011972512009-03-04T22:39:00.000-05:002009-03-04T22:39:00.000-05:00I loved pot and Taj back in the day...We all have ...I loved pot and Taj back in the day...<BR/><BR/>We all have those loves that lurk in our memory, only to be examined when we are strong enough to do it.<BR/><BR/>Are you sure the older man and his wife didn't spice things up with young students? Just saying.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13178290697351352495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-2679029727341234372009-03-04T22:27:00.000-05:002009-03-04T22:27:00.000-05:00Love Delwyn's observation. And yes, you can totall...Love Delwyn's observation. And yes, you can totally process something, yet come back to it years after and reclaim the feelings and insight, using them as creative fodder. I can't wait to see the series when you're finished. As for the photos, images of light and shadow are such wonderful accompaniments for your narrative. They're beautiful in themselves, but so perfect as partners to the text.Merihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07024443046207501650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-89167393815835039992009-03-04T21:37:00.000-05:002009-03-04T21:37:00.000-05:00Isn't the last little bit of healing so lovely, so...Isn't the last little bit of healing so lovely, so ethereal, so empowering and life-giving? Change is so good. It's highly underestimated; painful, but necessary.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01144451855897433779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-30193363442069705592009-03-04T19:37:00.000-05:002009-03-04T19:37:00.000-05:00Honestly the beat-myself-up part of the whole stor...Honestly the beat-myself-up part of the whole story ended decades ago when I talked endlessly about this in therapy. Sorry to have given the impression I'm still fussing over it all. I'm not.<BR/><BR/>The paintings are actually quite dainty and pretty. It's the last little bit of healing. No big deal.Reya Mellickerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-3329850883293080102009-03-04T19:18:00.000-05:002009-03-04T19:18:00.000-05:00Count me in. Hi, I'm Nick. Wildeve suggested your ...Count me in. Hi, I'm Nick. Wildeve suggested your page--we seem to have similar views. Can't wait to read more!Nick Jameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12792376229029821833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-69005160771811526362009-03-04T17:21:00.000-05:002009-03-04T17:21:00.000-05:00Wow, what an intense and interesting situation. I'...Wow, what an intense and interesting situation. I'm glad you survived and could learn from it. And the photos are wonderful. I especially love the first one.tangobabyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01288974184200212536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-8395798074614333162009-03-04T17:13:00.000-05:002009-03-04T17:13:00.000-05:00Sounds abusive on the professors part.... you were...Sounds abusive on the professors part.... you were only 21, and of course in the way of 21 yr olds knowing everything except how to deal with life.<BR/>We can only earn from our mistakes, and it's as well we have them to be able to change and become the people we are.<BR/>But you shouldn't beat yourself up, there is no point.It doesn't achieve anything.Fire Byrdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05477692359400671374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-49991109181762391552009-03-04T17:00:00.000-05:002009-03-04T17:00:00.000-05:00You were youngHe betrayed you bothIt was the age o...You were young<BR/>He betrayed you both<BR/>It was the age of Aquarius<BR/>She got sick and died<BR/>You live <BR/>and learn<BR/>and plumb <BR/>your depths<BR/>and move onDelwynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16813713107604750354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-4255745030874371432009-03-04T16:34:00.000-05:002009-03-04T16:34:00.000-05:00Colorful photos and moving words. What a wonderful...Colorful photos and moving words. What a wonderful combination!<BR/><BR/>Hang in there.aurbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04234712574405718245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-24706690104325498282009-03-04T14:08:00.000-05:002009-03-04T14:08:00.000-05:00It really wasn't love. I idolized him, and called ...It really wasn't love. I idolized him, and called him "Mr." even after the affair began.<BR/><BR/>He was very young, too, only 33 and I believed him when he said it had never happened before.<BR/><BR/>The meetings - well - I don't know what they thought would come of the meetings. As for myself I was too young and inexperienced to simply say "No, I will not do that." <BR/><BR/>It was truly hideous, though honestly ever time I think about it these days, I have to laugh. <BR/><BR/>Oh the ways love can go wrong! My goodness!Reya Mellickerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-63636342506680373612009-03-04T14:02:00.000-05:002009-03-04T14:02:00.000-05:00That wasn't love...What a nasty situation for a yo...That wasn't love...What a nasty situation for a young girl. I am sorry for you...ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11376645220662546020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-9880899553924019422009-03-04T13:32:00.000-05:002009-03-04T13:32:00.000-05:00I feel your pain, Reya, having been in similar sho...I feel your pain, Reya, having been in similar shoes. I have no respect for the professor for his subjecting you to those meetings. Did you have to attend, otherwise you might fail your course? Reya, it wasn't your fault the woman developed spinal cancer, and it certainly had nothing to do with the affair you had with her husband.<BR/><BR/>By allowing this experience to remain close to your heart in combination with the guilt, it continues the pain. There is an etheric cord attached to this situation and if you cut that cord mentally, the pain will go away and so will the guilt.Barbara Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00610140328527165017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-18939153094154363292009-03-04T12:49:00.000-05:002009-03-04T12:49:00.000-05:00That first picture -- I couldn't even "see" it for...That first picture -- I couldn't even "see" it for a moment. I couldn't make out what it was.<BR/>Love can transform (or warp) our vision, too.<BR/><BR/>Your painful love story definitely goes into the "couldn't/wouldn't make it up" category. I am a naturally curious person when it comes to human beings, and so I can't help but having lots of questions. Just one: Had this professor been involved with students before? (It's not uncommon, is it.) There is something about that scene with his wife that makes me think that his outside affairs were used to separate from -- and then reinforce -- something (not very healthy) in their relationship.<BR/><BR/>I was engaged to a professor when I was 23 -- but I broke it off a couple of months before the wedding. I felt guilty about it for years . . . and then I realized that I was ONLY 23 and it helped me get over it. (I hate causing people pain; also hate conflict.)Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02375981493145612394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-51693914267952396102009-03-04T12:04:00.000-05:002009-03-04T12:04:00.000-05:00Your story almost leaves me almost speechless. I c...Your story almost leaves me almost speechless. <BR/><BR/>I can remember when I began therapy near the end of my first marriage. In the first session, I told my therapist that I thought my husband might be cheating on me. She asked me what I thought would happen if he left me. I told her that I thought that I couldn't survive it. She asked, "You think life would end?!" My response was, "Yes!"<BR/><BR/>Our hearts can take so much more than we give them credit for sometimes. They only know what the past has taught them, and I think that's why it's so important to keep them open to love even when they've been brutalized. Once they see what love is and can be, they grow exponentiallyAmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10158546369146047030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-6211908609883679392009-03-04T11:39:00.000-05:002009-03-04T11:39:00.000-05:00That is a harsh story-- glad you've been able ...That is a harsh story-- glad you've been able to move beyond it. As I mentioned in an earlier post comment, I still have one love story that's never been fully resolved & had its own, very different harsh/cruel aspects. One thing I try to keep in mind is the age of the woman & I-- just as you were only 21-- an age that's not far removed from childhood, really; & that whatever I've gone thru, no matter how difficult, has brought me to where I am today. Overall, I'm very happy with that place, tho there are some sadnesses. I sense from these posts that you also have made that kind of (conditional?) peace with the past.<BR/><BR/>Love the pix.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15687192784861682991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-18338601311244927462009-03-04T11:14:00.000-05:002009-03-04T11:14:00.000-05:00The physics of love! Fabulous, Deborah.The physics of love! Fabulous, Deborah.Reya Mellickerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-38262752963671901652009-03-04T11:12:00.000-05:002009-03-04T11:12:00.000-05:00We bright and curious humans have discovered unive...We bright and curious humans have discovered universal forces, which continue to confound us. <BR/><BR/>Among them are magnetism and gravitation.<BR/><BR/>We see and attempt to measure them at work, ineffably pulling the stars toward one another, the planets to the stars—holding massive spinning galaxies together in beautiful spirals, holding our homes onto the earth.<BR/><BR/>Through unimaginable microscopes we see those forces at work keeping our atoms from splitting into a billion explosions, our molecules identifiable in their family clusters.<BR/><BR/>And yes, I am suggesting that we too gravitate to one another in some mysterious magnetic dance which holds our eyes and bodies, our hearts and souls together in some universal sway which remains until that force weakens or is weakened and we drift away--or we are catapulted apart, or are pulled by another body—-a passing planet-—a magnetism which cannot be denied.<BR/><BR/>On top of these primal forces we pile experience, history, religion and analysis—but the hummm, the whirl, the motion sound of connection remains as inexplicable as the universe itself with love, perhaps, being the true physicists’ gluon for it all.<BR/><BR/>love you so much,Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07238792308149815691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2607471777855707790.post-76706595903830195332009-03-04T11:09:00.000-05:002009-03-04T11:09:00.000-05:00What an interesting story! Also, as usual, I love...What an interesting story! Also, as usual, I love your photos.janishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com